The Rhythm of Change

The Rhythm of Change

Sitting on the couch, contemplating my crumbling marriage - he was an asshole, I blamed myself - I was watching late night tv and drinking too much wine. An awkward woman appeared on the show. She had long, red hair and a captivating energy. She played the piano and sang a very strange and haunting song. Her lyrics spoke to me. Her musical sound, intriguing: different. I couldn’t turn away.

Stunned and mesmerized, somehow, something in my mind shifted. In a timeframe of about three minutes, my entire way of being changed. Maybe it was the wine or the late hour or being frustrated in my rocky relationship, but I was tired of my bland existence.

So inspired by the performance in front of me, I purchased the full CD the next day, listening to each song in fascination. It had been a decade or more since music had appealed to me in any way. Not that I didn’t like music, I just hadn’t found it all that interesting. I didn’t realize there was an entire spectrum of sound available beyond the mainstream pop and country. When I discovered that, I couldn’t consume enough music to satiate my restless fascination. Nor could I stop talking about it, often met with boredom and disinterest by others. I didn’t understand that attitude, when I found the music scene so exciting. How could others not? And how had I been so ignorant? (I know the answer to both of those questions now - though it still confounds me.)

I can’t even remember the exact song anymore that I heard that night. I’ve been touched by many of the creations of the red-headed woman, as well as many other musicians, since. What I do know, is the event was a trigger created by a moment produced at just the right time and place to force me into action. It moved me to reclaim the power I had given up too easily. As I gathered up my courage, I made a choice. I chose to evolve. And I decided that my own voice actually had value; I decided to use it.

I tried desperately to repair my marriage first, but faced constant non-cooperation from my then husband. I tried to explain who the artist was and what her songs meant to me. I was struck with ridicule and resistance. I proceeded with a divorce. I took a trip with only my dog and my truck, found a job, a new place to live, eventually got married to a much better man and a great influencer of my newfound love of music; we bought a house and had a child. My new life was set into motion 20+ years ago, when a bunch of Little Earthquakes rocked my world.

"Little Earthquakes" - stream of album from Youtube

If it hadn’t been for hearing that odd song at that particular time in that specific moment, I wonder if I would still be stuck on that blue couch.

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I will be going to see my most influential musical artist in concert in August - an opportunity which I have awaited twenty years - many people still find her music unappealing - that’s not the point of this article.

Thank you for reading! Has a specific song or artist impacted your life?

KJ Aartila grew up in a small, rural community surrounded by animals and family. She, along with her husband and daughter, horses and other pets, now live on 40 acres in Northern Wisconsin, surrounded by forest and wildlife. She has spent her life reading about, writing about and working with animals, her goal always to be as reliable, trustworthy and honest as a horse, but her innate humaness keeps getting in the way. She remains determined to keep trying, though.