Dreamdiary

To whomever may be reading this, please bear with me.

This will be my first published entry, into a regular dream diary. I often write everything I remember down anyway, in all their dreamy, surreal greatness. It's lovely getting lost sometimes in this second world, like a home beyond the ordinary life, a world beyond the world. Now why do I suddenly want to write them down here, in public?

Well, because the pope died.

I did not know that until about 5 minutes ago. I just saw articles talking about his life and how he died apparently yesterday, ironically like a paintbrush of fate on the day of Jesus resurrection. Even though I am not christian, it still touches me, through the waves this loss of life sent to echo around the whole wide world and so many people.

Now as for my dream?

This was what I wrote down in the morning:

"I dreamt of Karate training again today. But my usual trainer was not there, which seemed odd and I felt like I was left on my own. We were on the verge of recruiting a new guy though, who seemed interested and showed off some kicks in excitement. Then I went and lead us all up a woody hill, in order to find a place to train. We went to the house of a school friend from long ago, whom I haven't thought about in years. Her house had a lot of space and we decided to train in a room, after getting an allowance. It looked very modern with glass walls all around, but decorated in an old style. I also had the feeling it was haunted or just that something lingered there.

Then the girl I grew up with like a sister in real life suddenly was there too and she came to me. She showed me an altar of some sorts, metal crosses full of ornaments and rosarys made of black wood and obsidian were laid out there. She said I needed one or that they could help us or something like that.

It was a very strange day, since then on my way to work I saw a big cross in a car in real life. And there were seagulls at a church, who suddenly gulled with the tolling of the bell. There are normally no seagulls in the middle of this city, why would there be so far from water? Then also the song "One of Us" started playing on my phone, chosen randomly from a playlist of over 3000 songs. I am not christian at all and don't believe in god, that was unusually much religious stuff following me there. What could this all mean?"

Now it kinda makes sense. Doesn't it? A bit too much sense even, unless I'm just starting to imagine patterns in everything, becoming the song "Paranoid" rather than "One of Us".

Tell me, am I going insane?

That's why I decided to write this all down somewhere online and will continue doing so with future dreams. After all, this is far from the first time whence I dreamt something that had an eery connection with what actually happened then in the real world.

Three days before my brother-in-law suddenly died of a stroke, I dreamt about wanting to kill death with a key, since he was haunting me and had already taken a guy (who had the same hair as my brother-in-law) with him. Years before a former friend of mine found out she didn't identify as female, I dreamt something hinting at her sexual confusion. Days before a fight of some friends I dreamt about the exact way and place the fight happened. A day before a friend wrote me whom I haven't heard of for months, I dreamt of a wolf. His second name translates to wolf.

Coincidences or not, this all freaks me out a bit sometimes. It especially does when I think about it too much.

Therefore dear reader, this is the start of my published dream diary. It will either be an attest to me loosing my mind, or some slightly disturbing weird things my unconscious simply creates to deal with things, or apparently vague signs of knowledge that would be impossible to have.

No matter which of these it will be in the end, dreams are powerful. They are the veiled second life of us, even if we often cannot remember it. A bridge directly to the deeper unconscious, where the bigger part of our "self" usually hides. Seeing even partially how this thing moves within, that's magic to me. The human mind is a vast construct after all. I dare to dive deep into mine, I want to see all of myself, work with it, use it, learn from it. Remembering and analyzing visions of sleep is my path in that sense.

Do you dare to look inside too?

Inside can be a scary place.

Face it.

Forever we dream on.