Face Plant

It was October 20, 2015. I was preparing my special “boo baskets” and made my last trip to the dollar store. I only make three a year and have fun planning and purchasing the little cheap Halloween items to fill the baskets.

Each year, I purchase three small plastic orange pumpkins with handles – you know the ones I’m taking about: those the little kids use when they go Trick-or-Treating.

It all started the year after I moved into my house in Florida. We took occupancy in April of 1999. That October, I purchased about $15 worth of candy to distribute to our Trick-or-Treaters. My husband and I decorated the outside of the house and I put on a costume. Since wearing one wasn’t something my husband wanted to do, we agreed that he could just sit on the couch watch TV.

Halloween afternoon arrived that Tuesday and we assumed that our first group of kids would come knocking probably sometime around four. Being new to Florida, we had no idea when school let out for the day, but we were prepared.

Four o’clock came and left. Five o'clock came and left. By six pm, we were beginning to wonder where all the kids were.

It was about that time when we heard the sirens of the fire trucks. For about twenty minutes, the sirens blared non-stop. You knew by the sound that the trucks were moving and there were many of them.

Our little dog shook with the noise, but my husband’s curiosity got the better of him and he decided to get in the car and follow them. We had the same thought: with that many fire trucks going in what sounded like the same direction, it must have been one huge fire.

At that time, neither my husband or I had cell phones, so I had to wait for him to return to find out where the fire was located and how bad it was.

A bit more than two hours later, he walked through the garage and into the side door of the house.

“Where on earth have you been? I was worried.” I asked.

“You’re not going to believe this, but I followed the trucks into town and the city closed and barricaded an area of six square blocks. There must have been about three thousand kids, all in costumes, walking around, stopping at each house, oh, and each house was impressively decorated for Halloween. I can’t even describe it. I’ve never seen anything like it. Now I know why we had no trick-or-treaters come here. They’re all in town.”

He went on and on saying how the old courthouse was decorated into an old, haunted house. He knew that because the city posted a large sign stating that. One old-three story house, was decorated like the old Bates house in Psycho. Traffic lights were turned off since people and kids littered the sidewalks and streets. Police barricades blocked off areas where no cars were allowed to enter. Police patrolled the area to ensure safety. He said as he tried to get home, he followed the detour signs and ended up getting lost since we still were not completely familiar with the area. He finally found a place to park, walked over to policeman, and explained his dilemma. Getting directions, he finally drove home to tell me of his Halloween adventure.

After that night, we learned not to plan for Halloween. However, that didn’t take the spirit of it out of me. I crated my own plan, and it wasn’t until a few years later that it all blew up in my face.

As I said, about ten days before Halloween, I visited the local dollar store and browsed the many Halloween items. In my cart, I started placing the items I’d need for my boo baskets. I would use three of everything. My baskets included, the plastic pumpkins, small chocolate bars (after all, who doesn’t enjoy a chocolate bar?), a few small ornaments suitable for a table display, and one or two small non-sensical toys. Once home, I created my small posters. One read: I have been booed”. The other contained a list of instructions: 1. Created three boo baskets just like the one you have received. 2. Place your “I have been booed” paper on your front door so you won’t get booed again. 3. Copy or recreate your three boo basket posters to place in your boo baskets. 4. At night, visit three of your neighbors who have not been booed and place one basket at their front door. All this was to be done anonymously. Kind of like a secret Santa, but instead of a jolly man in a red suit, you’d get witches, ghosts, and goblins.

The idea of the boo baskets was to see how many neighbors would actually play along, so that’s why starting and delivering the baskets before Halloween was imperative.

On the evening of October 21, with my baskets finished and dinner done, I sat and watched a bit of TV with my husband. I waited until around 10:30 at night before I headed out the door. I didn’t want to go out too early and risk have my friends catch me “booing” them.

My friend next door had a light on in her living room, so I decided to bypass her and go to my next house. All clear there. I placed the basket at the door and left.

The light in the house next door to mine was still on so I walked across the street.

I walked up the short driveway, took the step onto the long walkway that leads up to the front door. Carefully and quietly, I placed the basket on the doorstep.

I turned and began the walk down the long walkway toward the driveway when out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the light in the house next to mine had just, and I mean JUST been turned off.

Now being completely distracted, I forgot about the step and kept walking. Suddenly, I was aware that my body was being projected forward and there wasn’t a thing I could do to stop it. It happened so quickly.

SPLAT!! I fell flat on my face and broke my nose. The pink shirt I was wearing was now red. Not just a slight splatter of red but soaking red blood that came from the outside and inside of my nose.

It all happened so fast that my brain never had time to register pain. I picked up the candy and other Halloween items that fell out of the basket and walked across the street. I placed the basket at the front door and then walked home.

My husband had fallen asleep, so I decided not to wake him. I quietly walked to the bathroom, got out my bleed-stop strips. I placed one in each nostril and one on the outside of my nose. Five minutes later, after the bleeding had stopped, I removed the strips and placed one small piece of gauze in each nostril (just enough to halt any blood should it begin again but not enough to inhibit my breathing) and one on the outside where my skin had scraped off.

When I exited the bathroom, my husband had awoken, took one look at my face and said, “What the hell have you done now?”

The next morning, my friend from across the street and her husband, were discussing with my husband how upset she was as she searched her front and backyards for the injured or dead animal. She kept shaking her said saying, “There’s so much blood. The poor thing must really be suffering.”

My husband stifled a laugh and tried to put her mind at ease as he said, “Take it easy. There was no animal that was attacked in your driveway. It was my klutzy wife – again!”

He explained what happened and they were horrified saying I should have rung their bell and they would have taken me to the hospital.

After about a week, while they were still concerned, I was beginning to laugh at myself, especially every time I looked in the mirror. Talk about a face plant!

I wasn’t sure who looked more hideous: the poster of the witch I made – or me!