How My Obsession With Weight Almost Destroyed Me

Not so long ago, I became obsessed with food. I read articles about it, watched cooking videos, and most importantly, I loved eating. One time, while I was scrolling through some articles on Google, I came across one particular article that had a different topic than the others: weight loss. Up until this time, despite being a junk food lover, I thought my weight was fine. I grew up with everyone (teachers, parents, siblings, friends, family) telling me that I was way too skinny, but I never really took their words too seriously.

But now, I was experiencing something else (or so I thought I was). After reading that one article, I started reading more about weight loss related topics. Without even knowing it, I started looking at myself differently after conducting this research. Sometimes I would look at my stomach and feel ashamed because I thought (emphasis on the word, “THOUGHT”) I was gaining too much weight, while in reality I barely gained anything of weight. This lead me to start cutting back my eating by a lot (and I mean A LOT!). I would start eating a sandwich and think to myself, “Am I actually going to eat the whole thing? maybe I should just eat half” (of course, these thoughts came to me when I was eating other foods as well, not just the one sandwich).

But something clicked in my heart, I realized that even after I started dieting and exercising vigorously, I still thought my stomach looked big in the mirror. Finally I started to ask myself, “What kind of a human being am I?”

My parents would start to notice my extreme dieting when we would eat dinner together. They were especially concerned about me because I was, at the time, a 15 year old kid. They knew that if I stopped my eating at that age, I could face really bad health conditions when I’m older. They told me that I was really skinny and that I shouldn’t worry about losing weight at all, but I didn’t listen. Worried, they called the doctor and scheduled a meeting.

After standing on the weighing scale and answering a few questions, I was truly shocked at the doctor’s words. I was expecting him to tell me I was extremely overweight and that I would have to follow an even stricter diet than the one I was on. But instead, the doctor told me that I was dangerously underweight. He warned me that if I didn’t start eating properly I would face serious health conditions in the future. After that doctor’s visit, I started eating properly again (not at the level of a “regular teenage boy”, but I’m getting there).

Honestly, one piece of advice I would share with you would be that if you're feeling anything like what I described in this article, you should seek help from your doctor. While it may seem like a bad idea to tell others (family and medical professionals), it really is important in order to help your own well-being.

If your going through any kind of eating disorder, I want you to know that I honestly hope the very best for you. No one deserves their bodies to suffer for any kind of reason. Another thing I would like to point out is that eating disorders on teenagers can be catastropic for their health. Even after I got through that period in my life, it's still hard to this very day to act, eat, and behave the way that I used to. But there's always hope, for me and for you, that everything will one day, heal.

Relax, eat, and be kind to yourself, and to others