Things I Think About

I think about:

• the many ways to prepare lentils so that they don't taste like mud. (There ARE many ways, aren't there? Lie to me. Tell me that I can make these things taste compelling and nuanced. Please.)
• how many more things are going to need to be repaired around our house before my head explodes? Why does that furnace make that high pitch whine? Is it the fan? It's the fan, isn't it? Do fans whine and then burst into flames? And if/when that happens WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THE LENTILS THAT ARE VACUUM SEALED INTO HOPEFULLY-PORTIONED SIZES? Are toasted lentils better than plain? Will they survive a fire, like cockroaches? Will those damned emergency-lentils outlive me?
• how much coffee is enough coffee when one purchases coffee to prepare for coffee-less future-mornings when coffee is surely to be needed? Is there such a thing as too much coffee? Can coffee be used past its sell-by date? Can I LEARN to drink black coffee, and if I can will I ever like it? How many times can you reuse grounds before there is no flavor? is it once? Twice? [Three times a lady?] Can lentils be toasted and ground to make a coffee-like drink?
• I remember government-cheese and powdered milk from my childhood. I believe the cheese made amazing mac-and-cheese... and wonder if Aldo cheese food blocks taste like government cheese, and if I should buy any for storage because that stuff seemed to regenerate in the frig and last forever. Like loaves and fishes or a magic fairy tale box that provides sustenance whenever it is needed. That powdered milk, though. Do I need milk? How much milk do we actually use anyway? Should I track milk usage and buy accordingly? And maybe order some low carb pasta so we can live on mac-and-cheese for special holidays? Can I add lentils to mac-and-cheese?
• tofu is pretty inexpensive and suddenly all these 'Yay Tofu!' videos are in my newsfeed and they say tofu is better after being frozen and thawed and it's a great source of protein so I can load up on tofu once I clear all the chicken broth from Costco roasted chicken carcasses out of the freezer and fill that space with tofu so we can maintain adequate protein when everything collapses. I wonder how to cook tofu. I wonder if it can be combined with lentils in some way?
• do red lentils and green lentils taste the same? why are red lentils more expensive than green lentils? I just learned that you can grown lentil spouts and lentil microgreens. Also plant them in the garden for future lentils. So they are seeds. [Duh] Such a useful thing to have in my apocalypse emergency rations. Maybe they are good with butter? Tomato sauce?
• Should I buy more rice? I know it's not low carb, but I've read that cooling after cooking changes the starch from digestible starch into resistant starch so it won't spike blood sugar. I like jasmine rice better than brown rice but brown rice feels virtuous and then if I eat it maybe I won't crave rice... or fettuccini because rice (like bacon) is a slippery slope to indulgences best ignored. Although if I have to live on lentils and rice maybe I deserve the indulgence of jasmine rice?
• are Butter Buds still a thing, or are they lost to the 80's along with my adored desk-food stash of Gerber's apricot baby food in little glass jars? NOT apricot/mixed fruit in jars or [shudder] aseptic plastic cubes. Just dense and sweet apricot sunshine that nestled in the back of the emergency drawer to be savored on the five minute break when things got crazy during the holidays at the bookstore [Waldenbooks 985! I see you!] and people called off and no one wanted to work with Mark (no, not you, Mark. Mark 3- you weren't here when he was here...) and I still had 900 boxes to flip, unpack, breakdown and sort and the schedule needed to be done and I used to think that was stress but HELLO? 2025 said 'hold my beer' and man, I wish I had a little case of those apricot baby food jars brimming with 'I never tasted like lentils and don't you miss me?' I do. I miss you. I miss it all. Anyway- are Butter Buds still a thing?

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What is on your mind? What do you think about? Do you have any lentil recipes?