Who's youth is not confused, write to your 20-year-old self

Now it seems that some of the things you did carefully at that time often ended in failure, and the clothes that you put together casually seemed like you. Of course, you wouldn't have known, and if you hadn't failed over and over again, I might still be on the same path today.

I remember when you were 20 years old and fretting. Your dorm mates were talking and you were going to play computer games all night. You were jubilant on the surface, but inside you kept asking yourself the same question: "It was hard for me to get into college. At the foot of Yuelu Mountain, at the head of orange Island, at the beach of lovers, you walk among the crowd, looking at the similar faces, and your biggest worry is: do they all know where the future is going? Why are you the only idiot?

Too stupid to buy a computer and write in my diary over and over again on manuscript paper. Because I did not know what to write, so even if I wrote a wrong word, I had to start again. My writing level was not improved at all, but a lot of paper was wasted. Looking at stacks and stacks of manuscript paper and unpublished articles, I would tell myself without a hint of doubt, "Wow, I wrote six more pages last night! If one day, you really become a great writer, these papers will be really valuable." This is the happiest you will be almost every day.

A lot of magazines respected their writers, so you often got rejection letters. There are many similar but different words written on it. I just want to thank you for your support and participation, but your topic selection and writing style are not suitable for their magazine. I hope you will continue to support me. You keep these rejection letters, in large part because they are printed with the names of magazines, and you occasionally open them with the illusion that they are notices of publication. You occasionally held them up in front of people, fooling them into thinking you had a different relationship with a lot of editors -- hey, you lived a fearless, cautious life back then, and any small change made you proud. For example, "The editor wrote back and rejected me. I got his contact information and name."

As I write this, I really want to say to you, "Although you seem stupid to the outside world, but also thank you for your shameless way of coping, let me go to this day, never afraid."

Finally the first article was published, and the fee was $30. Of course you didn't take it out. You folded it up nicely, put it in your wallet for viewing, and said, pretending to be casual, "Here, it hasn't been taken out yet." You hoarded it until it was overdue, never thinking of cashing it.

Behind the 30 yuan fee, you probably spent more than 200 yuan on dinner to celebrate. Some people invest in things for life, you invest in things to prove that you can.

You grew up in the hospital, carrying your father to apply for an examination of normal university Chinese department, so that you and your father will not dialogue for nearly two years, almost cut off father and son relations. Until your first published article on your father, "Subtlety," was published in the provincial journal, and your dad saw it. He drove his car to the school for the first time to find you, invite you to dinner. You're on your way to meet him with a 170-page draft of a novel called The Killing. I can't remember what it was about now, because it wasn't published, and you didn't even intend to publish it when you wrote it. I remember the first thing you said to your dad was, "Dad, look, I can write so much now."

You learn to say, "I'm fine."

"I'm fine" doesn't mean that you finally get to the point where you have money, friends and people to take care of you. It means that you can finally get used to having no money, no friends and no one to take care of you. "I'm fine" is a way of telling them that you're becoming more accepting, not more realistic -- that I'm not as vulnerable as you think I am, and that I'm just fine without you.

You heard that participating in the competition to win prizes can increase quality points, so from the freshman began to participate in various competitions. Many competitions have only a few participants, so as long as you seriously participate, the organizer will generally give you the third prize, and a school level competition third prize can be added to the quality of two points. So you have participated in composition contests, singing contests, debate contests, speech contests, drama contests, sports meetings, and even calligraphy and seal cutting contests. You spent 10 yuan in the roadside stall to find someone to carve a name, and then printed it on paper, handed it to the organizing committee, won the third prize - this matter you have to exclaim for a long time. You not ashamed of his own speculation, now how much I will think "how can this" at the time, but your head is full of 20 "how different", "different" is a special big proposition, so you can save the cost of one day to carve a chapter, you will take to participate in the competition carefully write a composition. The elder brother of the ORGANIZING COMMITTEE tells you: "Your article is very good, SHOULD be the first place, but another elder brother wants to find a job, so this first place should give him, YOU STILL HAVE many chances." He has not said that finish, you quickly nod, you think: "the prize was earned, but also obtained the affirmation of seniors face to face......"

Some people said you were extremely generous, but you knew you were extremely calculating. The only difference is that while many people who care about things tend to care about things as they happen, you prepare for the worst before they happen. So, when the result is not as bad as you want, you can accept it.

So some people say you heartless, say you 250, you even have a long time to think that they are really quite silly, now I tell you: in fact, you are not silly, but you never see yourself so important.

Sure, you've made a lot of mistakes and lost friends you should have kept. But isn't that what growing up is all about? Either learn or get. All the problems you have growing up, they're made for you. Solved, you become a survivor of your kind; Until you do, you never know who you might be.

In the 10 years between the ages of 20 and 30, we all go the same way. You feel lonely is right, it is a chance to let you know yourself; You feel not understood is right, that is the opportunity for you to recognize a friend; You think the darkness is right, then you can tell what is your light; You feel helpless right, so you can understand who is your growth can help you up; You feel confused on the right, whose youth is not confused.