Why We Fake Smiles After Layoffs: The Absurdity of Fear

It was as if my mind was building a fortress of absurdity, a shield to deflect the impending emotional storm. But the storm arrived anyway, disguised as a debilitating cold.

My skills are in high demand, finding a new gig should be a breeze. But instead, I'm adrift in a sea of internet browsing, naps, and endless snacking. My actions, or rather inaction, baffle even me.

Many of us, faced with life's curveballs, perform a bizarre denial dance. We crack jokes that fall flat, obsess over insignificant details like the perfect Netflix queue, and pretend the life-altering event never happened.

The deeper the shock, the more elaborate this coping mechanism becomes.

It's a lifeline, preventing us from unraveling, drowning in bitterness, and giving us time to process the situation. It's a primal fight-or-flight response, except in this case, we choose flight - flight into a world of manufactured normalcy.

Beyond the Goofy Grin: A Deeper Truth

I described a reaction to the layoff as "simply listening and smiling goofily." But let's be honest, even a fiery defense of your rights wouldn't change the outcome. Yet, it would have exposed the raw nerve this situation struck.

The goofy grin was my way of coping, a mask for the discomfort I didn’t want to acknowledge. It’s easier to pretend that everything is fine rather than confront the chaos inside. But I knew, deep down, that this facade wouldn’t last forever. The emotional rollercoaster was inevitable, and the "cold" was just my body’s way of stalling—giving me an excuse to put off facing the reality of the layoff, the conversations, and the uncertainty of what comes next.

This charade of normalcy extends beyond external perception. It's about convincing yourself that nothing's wrong, a desperate attempt to maintain a shred of control in a situation that feels like free fall.

This unconscious self-deception fuels your "strange" behaviour - downplaying the layoff's significance and dismissing your past job as something you "wanted to leave anyway."

But beneath the surface, an emotional rollercoaster churns. The sudden cold is a physical manifestation of this defense mechanism. A convenient excuse to postpone the awkward conversation with your parents and delay the job search.

It's the body's way of saying, "Hold on, let's not deal with this just yet."

Embracing the Messy Emotions

There's no need to fret about the "unusual" behaviour. It's a perfectly normal, albeit messy, human response to loss. However, recognising devaluation as your primary coping mechanism is crucial.

You're struggling to acknowledge the complex emotions swirling within you - the anger at the company, the uncertainty about the future, and maybe even a tinge of grief for the job security you once had. It's okay to feel all of it.

The power lies in acknowledging your tendency to numb the pain. Don't let judgments formed under the influence of this protective response hold too much sway.

By recognizing that devaluation is your way of dealing with these emotions, you're already a step ahead. It's not just about feeling the anger, uncertainty, or grief—it's about letting yourself truly experience them. When you acknowledge your instinct to numb the pain, you reclaim the power to navigate these emotions without being overly influenced by the judgments born from this protective response.

This isn't about weakness; it's about self-preservation. But eventually, the fortress of absurdity needs to crumble, and the shield of denial needs to be lowered.

The real journey begins when you allow yourself to feel the full spectrum of emotions. Talking to a friend, journaling, or even allowing yourself a good cry can help you navigate this emotional labyrinth.

Remember, the layoff doesn't define you. It's a bump in the road, an unexpected turn in your career path.

Embrace the messiness, acknowledge the emotions, and emerge stronger, wiser, and ready to write the next chapter of your story.