Word of the Day: 口寂しい

I don't even care anymore. I am just keeping what I got and that's about it.

I feel every love reading like some sort of terrorist attack.

I mean, I guess you could call it cycling bipolar but, I feel like that is describing the state perspective in the first person. 2nd person is when someone who is connected to the main character/subject of the sentence talks about that person or the situation.

If I am reading literature, it is possibly 3rd person. It is a completely unrelated person to the story/meta that is happening within that story.

The never-ending story is about someone breaking the 4th wall. Sort of like what Deadpool and, other writers like to do. It makes the whole thing more performative.

Nam felt so dead inside. I mean not dead but, the sparks in him were akin to fireflies. He seemed like a... yea I feel if I say this, it is very derogative; an unsent from final fantasy 10.

Hmm, it would be optimistic to think it is because he's in a higher frequency but that is not it. It is like his presence in the ether is absent.

It would be weird to be married to a homunculus. I am somehow pleased with my life so far, but it feels so odd to not have anyone at my side this moment. I guess that is what made me call him... But I feel it is... I mean yes, there are things I don't agree with with him, but I don't think it is enough to warrant not having him near me right now.

I don't think I am going to buy cottage cheese again in a while. I don't really like it anymore.

I really feel my body health improving. I do think the coffee is not as good right now, but I don't mind, I won't buy it again after my creamers are gone. Once the creamers are done, I am done with it and will just go back to drinking tea.

I don't want to waste it because... well sugar. Sugar goes a long way in terms of calories and such. It isn't the most nutrient dense. It is fuel but, raw fuel.. nutrition is more like grease or oil in a car, it just helps it run smoothly, but gasoline is what makes it go.

I am really not liking the cottage cheese though. I tastes so unappealing, I am really surprised. They bought my favorite brand too so I have no idea what it means.

I am glad Tillamook doesn't trigger me anymore.

I know that, I found in the darkness, my Fi placement. Yes, I value the individual. Sometimes that looks rebellious to the ones with Fe placements in their cognitive functions, unfortunately... But that isn't our job, is it?

I feel like Bruno from Sasha Baron Cohen's work. lol I want to bring Nam on a dog leash to my meeting and be like, " I have captured a Vietnamese man, he is my pet now. "

Like I really just want to be able to enact a completely ridiculous scenario for the Monty Python affect. Indulge in absurdism without fear of punishment. I don't feel I can do that in this town, everyone is too judgmental or completely absent. There is no life here. It is like a boring shadow play of life.

I think I deserve to have someone take me places sincerely.

Queen Amun Ra is talking about movies and that sounds nice too. I mean that is another way to have peace, right?