Replaceable Children

Fresh snow began to fall forming a light dusting over the dirt packed snow lining the sides of the road. Sitting beside my older brother, Wayne, I press my forehead against the cold window of the school bus and huffed out hot breath, steaming up the window pane and began drawing circles around the flashing street lights.

Flash, flash, flash. I imagine being on a spaceship flying through the night toward the moon and the lights were stars moving faster and fast past me until Wayne's whispered voice brought me back.

"What?"

"I said, you're not going home." He whispers louder.

I blink once, twice, confused I turn and look at him. "What?" I repeat.

"The bus driver," Wayne nods towards the old, pudgy man driving the school bus. "He's not taking you home!"

Although I was only in Kindergarden, I already knew the way home. We had traveled this same route every day from the after school program for the past four months. Then suddenly the bus turns and we began going the wrong way. Tall trees emerging as the road grows darker.

"Where's he taken us?" I ask, becoming scared.

"Not us. You!" Wayne says. Smiling he crosses his arms over his skinny chest. "He's taking you to the woods."

"But...I want to go home." I begin to cry.

Wayne shakes his head "I heard Mom tell him this morning to tke you into the woods and leave you there."

My lower lip trembles, "but I want to go home." I repeat

"Well you're not!" Wayne said nastily

"But Mommy needs me." Again he shakes his head.

"She don't need you no more. She has the new baby coming and you will just be in the way.

My eyes fill with tears,as they roll down my face. "I can help? I will help! I'll be a good girl." I promise.

"Take me home! Please? Please take me home..." I chant, my cries growing louder.

"Hey, what's going on back there?" the bus driver calls out.

"Nothin." Wayne tells him, then jabbs me in the side with his boney elbow. "Be quiet." He hiss, but I can't stop; I want to go home.

"Please take me home. I want to go home." I continue.

"Well of course." The driver says. "See we're almost there. Just a little detour cause of the road work."

I cry harder.

Wayne shoves at me. "Cry baby!Shut up!" He says in a harsh whisper. "That's why Mom don't want you no more."

Suddenly the bus slows, coming to stop and turning in his seat the driver calls back to me. "Why don't you come sit here in the front seat." He tells me.

Pushing my way past Wayne I slowly move to the front of the bus and slide into the seat across from the driver.

"Now why don't you tell me what this fussing is all about?" He ask.

I tell him what Wayne said. He turns towards Wayne, "Now why would you tell her that?"

"She's just a silly cry baby!" Wayne says in reply.

After reasuring me that he was in fact taking me home, he turns and the bus starts again and I watch through blurry eyes as we made our way down the road and eventually I see our house and there is Mommy waiting outside for us.

As soon as the bus door openI ran down the steps straight to mommy and wrap my arms around her tight, feeling better that she was there.

I listen as the bus driver tells her what happened and when she told me to go inside and put my things away I run to listen.

I ran up the stair and down the hall to my room, but when I turn on the lights its all wrong. This wasn't my room! Where my toy chest used to be was now a crib, and a changing table stood where my dollies used to sit at the little wooden table Dad had made. In the closet there were baby close, and all my dresses where gone.

I stood there, looking at my roon that was not my room any more and my lip began to quiver as tears roll down my face. Wayne had been right, Mommy didn't want me any more cause she was having a new baby.

I vowed right then and there that I was going to be a very good girl from now on and I would help so much with the new baby that Mommy would never want to send me to the woods.