Single and not ready to mingle!

I honestly don’t even know where the heck to begin with my life except that I am a single mother of two beautiful children. My name is Jillian and let me tell you this, if you are thinking about having kids get ready to die to self. I didn’t realize how selfish of a person I was until I had my children. I can’t use the bathroom without them banging on the door, “LET ME IN”, or cleaning the bedroom while my 3 year old son is putting freaking flour in the toaster oven and the dishwasher.

I don’t blame the kids, I just really want to find my groove. With the hustle and bustle of my everyday life, and going here and going there I realize that there is no break. I moved back home to Richmond, VA after living in Atlanta, Georgia for 10 years and being home again is not easy, but it’s good to be around my family again. I am a Puerto Rican born in New York City, Spanish Harlem and being where I am at today is an accomplishment in itself. My parents are native New Yorkers and I have two older brothers. My family is very special, we fight, argue about sports, eat big dinners, and for some odd reason the t.v is blasting and we are literally talking over the t.v trying to have a normal conversation. This is why we talk loud, it’s because of stupidity.

I am the type of mother that if my daughter is acting inappropriately, all I have to do is look at her and she already knows to behave. My son on the other hand is full of so much energy, energy that makes him run around the house and climb up on the table clap his hands stomp his little feet and sing “Baby Shark”. I’m honestly tired, I feel run down, and on top of that I had recently had a foot procedure done so it has not been great. For me to even try to be in a serious relationship right now would be crazy, especially being a full time worker and college student at the same time. If anything, I would probably drive him up the wall.

I tried to start dating again, but the guys want something with me but they are not ready for kids. But who is? I simply can’t get rid of them, neither put them back where they came from. It’s like, my words are as dead as a door nail to these guys, I let them know from the beginning that I am a mother and my responsibility is to them. I’m ok with not having sex, because after a long ass day, I am exhausted to even want to burn those calories. I would rather do Netflix and Chill, by myself! I put on Greys Anatomy, eat my Basic 4 cereal then hit the sack to repeat the day. My daughter is 6 and has decided that she is simply too grown for naps, and my son puts himself down on his own sometimes. It’s when they both take their naps, that I am able to shower quick, straighten out the house, do my hair, or homework.

I think I have said enough for this being my first post, and boy do I have stories for days. Welcome to my world, get a good seat, eat your popcorn and enjoy my life. I know I’m not alone, but it feels like it sometimes And it’s good to know that people are out there that I can relate to.