Did you ever have that one friend that was always there ? The one that was your brother and had your back no matter what ? I have . Today I say goodbye to him even though I don’t know how. I’m writing down these thoughts to try and help me through this, and maybe help someone else in this situation. You live every day and never realize how short life really is till it hits so close to home it tears your life apart. You can’t think, eat , sleep , or move without thinking about the person in question. So many memories , so many plans , so many things left undone never to be finished. For me my best friends death did all of this and more as he was a huge part of my families life. My husband called him his brother and my kids called him uncle. We all planned so many things that now left a gaping whole in our hearts and life. I am starting this on the day of his memorial service so I can work through this as we go. We are preparing to have a memorial bbq and bon fire with other friends as it was Josh’s favorite thing , besides Dungeons and Dragons . No one however has the the emotional strength to play games today. I just keep playing the last conversation we had over and over . Could we have done something to prevent this. He was supposed to be home today he was a truck driver and today started his weeks paid vacation for being with the company for a year. Now we are all mourning Josh instead. This to unreal I just want to wake up as if it’s a dream. My husband is taking it so hard in our eight years of marriage I have only seen him this upset once and that was the birth of our first son Godryc. He was born premature and his heart stopped in my husbands arms . Although that story ends better he is now seven years old and healthy as an ox. He keeps asking how Uncle Josh died and why he died ? I’m not sure how to answer the why none of understand it. Josh was healthy and only twenty- seven years old . So how do explain a healthy young man going to sleep in his truck and never waking up ? I’m so tired of crying . I keep trying to laugh and joke but the tears keep coming. I cant talk without crying another reason for writing this all down as well. WHY WHY DID YOU GO? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE HOW DO WE ALL GO ON WITHOUT YOU?
Three years have past and I am reading over this . I am adding to it as well with some follow up. To those of you going through this know that the first thought of why will never truly be answered for you. It doesn’t matter if it is written in front of you or you watched it happen. Why will always be the question and no there was nothing you could do to change it. Fate just chose that moment to take your loved one. As depressing as that thought is.
We still have you should be here moments when we get together or on holidays, birthdays , and beach days. Now we all just say “hi Josh” and talk about how weird it is he’s gone. We even talk about how much he would have loved things too. It gets easier to do daily stuff and continue living , but they are never gone and never forgotten. My biggest suggestion is to find a way to memorialize your loved one be it a tattoo, artwork, a story, or through photos and videos. Just make them something special so you can remember them and give yourself the ok to move past their death ,but never fortget them.
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Homeschool Havok
Ok so a little background here I am a mom of three . A fourteen year old girl, a ten year old boy and an eight year old boy . My fourteen year old wants to be a Ve terinary Biologist so , I homeschool all three kids . As you can imagine sometimes my house is total madness. Well we recently moved in with my mother - in - law . We have been doing a lot to set up the house so we have room and can coexist peacefully. I totally forgot that school was about to start and didn't have anything thing planned or gone over. I hadn't even had a chance to buy tablets , pencils, or folders. So away to the store to stock up on supplies. I woke up and realized I had two days to plan out my curriculum and set up the first few weeks of lessons. Needless to say it was awful and total chaos. My kids only got a few lessons done a day, and worksheets were being lost or left unfinished. We hadn't done spelling in two weeks. The only thing we could do was watch tv and walk the five acres around our new home. I wasted a ton of printer ink on things the kids refused to do , or that got misplaced. I was honestly a little afraid to do lessons in front of my mother-in-law . I didn't want to hear my kids needed to be in public school , or that they weren't learning what they should or would in school. I set a few lessons up about mushrooms and how to find them. For social studies I did a few lessons on Florida's lost tribes . I did a couple and things went ok although my boys tried to get away with a few things by playing to memaw but she knew what they were up to and called them out. My boys are still pushing against the new living situation and testing boundaries. My mother-in-law even helped me find a few books to help with lessons. We are switching curriculum to kid led , leaning towards an unschool format . My boys have fallen in love with this as they get a little more say in what they want to learn in history and science. They are finishing up Ancient Egypt right now. Reading , spelling, language arts, and math are a lot more structured . But they get to pick novels, and books we read. Math has more games to practice skills for the boys. My daughter has a curriculum focused on on veterinary biology with some marine biology . Alot of her reading she chooses based on her desired learning and some fiction. She does vocabulary and math based on grade level. Her geography is more structured but we add to it if she wants to learn more. She choose world history and geography this year. So I am making her lessons connect with the boys , so we can use movies and videos together. Although her worksheets are more in depth than theirs . So far it's working . I had forgotten that homeschooling is made to be flexible and fun. I can change things a little or alot to fit what works best for us. So remember if y'all are looking at homeschooling it can be fun and easy but overwhelming and chaotic too. Also please know that there is a big difference between homeschool and cyber or online school . I will get into that next time. Hope y'all enjoyed my first attempt at an article.
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