Mom's Strawberry Love

My mother was a smart and loving mother who can handle anything coming at her. Loosing her own mother at 10 to TB, she had to be a mother of two younger sister and brother until her father married again. Because they were so young, they do not remember their biological mother at all. Before she passed away, she was at the hospital for a year. Her children were not allowed to visit her due to the highly contagious nature of the illness, tuberculosis.

My mother had to grow up fast for their younger siblings. At that time in Japan, women were expected to handle every household duties. Cooking, cleanings, sewing, taking care of children, and even handling financial matter. In a sense, women were wives, mothers, and financial planner all in one. While men works outside of house and be bread winners, they are not expected to lift any fingers at home. The time has changed since, but my father didn't know how to boil the water until my mother was hospitalized for 6 moths.

My grandparents generations consider that their sons in a kitchen at home is the sign of failed marriage and feel sorry for their sons.

I remember my mother working all day long. She gets up before everyone else and makes breakfast for the family. Then, she sends my father off to work and washes dishes. Without a break, she starts washing dirty clothes.

I don't remember when we got a washing machine, but when I was a baby she was still washing them in a huge bucket and a washboard. That is why she was determined to toilet train me as soon as possible. By the time I was a little over a year, as soon as I began walking, I was going to the bathroom on my own.

My mother was a very smart and intelligent woman. She wanted to be a teacher and pursue higher education. Her father was a typical man at that time didn't think a woman needs education. Her teacher tried to persuade him to send her to high school more than a few times. But it was no use.

In the end, she left home to become a nurse. That was only way she could find to support herself instead of being a farmer staying under her father's roof. The doctor at his clinic offered her room and board in exchange of working for him and finishing nursing school to get a certification, then works at his clinic after that. She wanted to be a teacher, but most of all, she didn't want to be working at the field.

At 25, she was becoming an old maid. Even though she was making enough to end meets and content, she also wanted to have her own family.- children. So, she decided to marry with a man who was introduced by an acquaintance.

My parents only met 3 times before they wed. My father was 29 then, just as my mother he felt like he was getting older and needed to start his family. They were both committed to make the marriage work.

Soon after, they are pregnant with their first child. Unfortunately, my mother lost it while she was working. After that she stayed home trying to get pregnant again with no avail for three years. Just about she was giving up and going back to work, she found out that she was with a child again.

That was me.

My father insisted on her staying home even after we were old enough to be left home alone. He was a very old-fashion man. Financially, my mother could have made more money as a nurse than my father. But he told her that he would not bring his salary home if she works. My mother chose to stay home, and did side works to cover a part of the household expenses while baby sitting a working mother's baby and tacking care of me and my sister.

Although I had never felt that we were poor, looking back we aren't a middle class, either. I remember my mother would buy a stake just for my father.

She used to say, "he's the one working hard for us, so he deserves something nice."

She had never once complained about not having enough, managed household expenses within his salary and her side-work at home. Not only that she managed to have some saving for her children's educations. I have no idea how she did, but managed she did.

I don't remember feeling hungry ever. She would have some snacks every afternoon prepared like steamed Japanese potatoes or my favorite "Strawberry Mash in Milk".

I left home when I was 19 to study in America and ended up living most of my adult life there. After I had a son, we had a chance to live in Japan for 7 years. During these years, my mother and I talked a lot about my childhood. I told her then how much I love the strawberry mush as I growing up.

When I told her that, she looked rather surprised by it.

After a few moments, she spoke in undertone.

" That was a snack born out of a desperate measure. When money was running low, I had to think how to fill you and your sister's stomach. We couldn't buy two baskets of strawberries, and there was no way that one was going to be enough for both of you. So, I used milk to filled you up with. Milk pack of 500 ml milk was much cheaper than a basket full of strawberries."

Now, it was my turn to be surprised. - not so much for how the menu was born, but because the fact that she felt guilty about not being able to provide more for us. She didn't say so, but I could clearly see it.

I wouldn't have understood that if I didn't have a child of my own. But it was easy for me to understand why she felt the way she did. Parents want to give more than enough for their children even if they don't.

But I also know that it is not necessary or good for kids when parents feel guilt about such things. The truth is kids don't care about material things they get. While my mother was feeling bad about not being able to give enough strawberries, I was totally happy with the crushed sweet strawberries in the milk.

****Strawberry Mash in Milk ****

Ingredients (2 to 3 serving)

strawberries 360 g

milk 1000 ml

sugar ( as you like)

Instructions

1. Wash strawberries and remove the stems from the strawberries. Cut then in half. Then, set aside.

2. Pour cold milk into the big enough bowl.

3. Throw the strawberries being set aside into the bowl.

4. Use spoons to crush strawberries in the bowl.

5. Sprinkle some sugars (Option) and stir.

“The greatest dishes are very simple” – Auguste Escoffier

1. Remove the leaves from the strawberries and slice them in half.