Catamorphosis!

Long hairs sprouted on my ears yesterday, and today, I counted twelve. Wiry whiskers shot outwards under my nose. This was different from the rampant hair relocation of age.

I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror with my roommates Fabian and Ella, and they smiled their approval.

While pouring dry kibble into their bowls, I snagged a morsel of cat food.

Damn, that's tasty, I thought, filled a bowl and poured milk over it.

My 'to-do' list included vacuuming. Fabian's feline voice dominated my mind,

"Don't! We love our hair and so will you, soon!"

By the weekend, exotic cat hair floated through the air to coat the kitchen counters, beds, and walls. I placed an online order for a hundred pounds of cat kibble.

Months later, we stood in front of the mirror again and were impressed by the full-bodied fur of a British Gray Hair that covered my body. My stomach lurched, and I gagged. With concerted force, I vomited a slimy ball of hair. Fabian pawed Ella a high five.

"Tonight we celebrate your first. Order some fresh salmon and Catnip online, we are going to get high together," said Ella.

"Add some extra-large nail clippers," said Fabian, "I know you have to work, but your sharp claws clicking the keyboard drives me cat crazy."

Dear friends, cats rule, so embrace your own catamorphosis and the addition of eight lives. Just wait until you experience the joy of bringing home your first dead rat.