Decommission

“I AM NOT GOING TO RETIRE!” Wilford’s voice reverberated throughout the entire interior of the old barn, shaking loose fine particles of dust from his weathered timbers, sending them slowly dancing through the sun-speckled air.

“Oh settle down you old coot! I never said the word, retire! I was simply suggesting it may be time to think about…your next phase,” Phylis honked, as the white feathers lining her long thin neck began to ruffle.

Until that point, their conversation had been private. Now, the commotion grabbed the attention of one of the barn’s more curious residents, a small tan-colored billy goat with white spots, who had just frolicked his way back in from the field outside. He playfully hopped over to where Phylis was standing, “Whatcha…whatcha…talking about guys?”, he asked. Phylis squinted her tiny blue eyes and crossed her wings across her thick chest, “Mind your own business, Dobbins!”, she replied. Dobbins was unfazed as he circled his head in a wobbling motion, his gaze fixed on a butterfly flitting around his head.

“What are you saying Phylis? That I should just kick back and loosen my nails, maybe let down the roof and go for a long drive into the fire pit?”, Wilford asked sarcastically.

“It’s just that we’ve had some incidents recently and I think…” He interrupted before she could finish. “Incidents, what kind of INCIDENTS?”, he bellowed.

“Well let’s see, there was the time when Elsie couldn’t milk for a month because she twisted her ankle from the warped planks on these old wood floors. Or how about the time Donald got stuck outside all night after wandering out, because your door latch doesn’t fully lock anymore? The poor thing was so terrified thinking he was going to be eaten by a wolf, he couldn’t even grow a coat thick enough to be sheared that whole year because he developed bald spots from the stress! Shall I go on?”

“You know Old man Jessup fixed that lock; it’s working great now!” Wilford snapped in reply.

“Speaking of…you know Old Man Jessup isn’t around anymore. We have those new owners, the lovely young couple from the city,” Phylis said cautiously.

“Ooooh, ooooh, are you telling him about the thing I heard that you said I couldn’t tell him about?” Dobbins had returned from his previous engagement, having left (or rather flapped out of) the barn.

“SHUT UP, DOBBINS!” Phylis exclaimed, burying her head behind her wing.

“What is this you’re on about now, Dobbins?”, Wilford asked. Dobbins, now ashamed, looked to Phylis before responding. She opened her wing wide, gesturing for him to continue. Dobbins tilted his head, confused. He wasn’t the sharpest pitchfork in the barn.

Phylis rolled her eyes, “Go ahead Dobbins. You’ve already started, so you might as well tell him all of it.”

Dobbins began excitedly, “So I heard the new owners talking and they were just going on and on about some changes they wanted to make… and then…” He stopped mid-sentence to admire a caterpillar crawling across the floor below his feet.

“DOBBINS!”, Wilford and Phylis’s said in unison. Dobbins jumped, startled.

“Wait.. what was I talking about again?”

“The new owners…”, Phylis prodded him along.

“Oh right…so, anyway they said they were going to change some stuff and they said they were going to move all of us animals to a new place they’re building and something else about decommissioning…”.

Though Wilford could hear Dobbins continuing to mindlessly babble, the words quickly faded to a low murmur sound in his head as Wilford felt panic surge through every inch of his worn lumber and rusty bolts.

“Decommission… DECOMMISSION”, he repeated the words slowly in his head as the panic quickly turned to anger. “Is this what it’s come to?”, he wondered. "All those years of selfless service, reduced to the whim of some snot-nosed city slickers and their grandiose dreams of a simple life in the country. I’ll be darned if I’m gonna let them or that grumpy old goose tell me what to do!”, he thought to himself.

“Wilford… Wilford…”, Phylis’s voice brought him back. “Look, no need to decide anything right now. Maybe they were referring to something else.” Her words did not comfort him. 

“Maybe I can tighten it up, get back in shape, show the new owners they don’t need some new barn. I still have a few good years left in me,” he thought to himself.

***

A day had passed since Dobbin’s fateful admission with little event. It was now midday and Wilford could feel the sun’s summer rays beating down along the length of his rusted corrugated metal roof. “Ughh…feels like it gets hotter every year,” he thought to himself.

All of a sudden he began to hear the subtle sounds of sobs between soft pathetic honks, as Sophie, Phyllis’ youngest granddaughter, waddled into the barn, tears filling her tiny eyes.

“What’s wrong?”, Wilford asked in a gentle voice. “Some of the other goslings were teasing me because of my foot,” she answered. “What’s wrong with your foot?” he asked sympathetically, even though he knew.

Sophie had been born without webbing on her right foot. It had briefly been the talk of the barn a year or so ago.

“They were calling me web-less Sophie”, she continued, as a tiny hyperventilated “quack” escaping her beak.

“You know, I think your foot makes you special. I’ve seen generation after generation of geese come through this place and I have never seen a goose able to pick up hay with their foot to help the mother cows feed their babies the way you can. So I say, you may be the most unique gosling ever!”, he offered in an encouraging tone.

A smile formed along Sophie’s beak as her tears subsided, and she waddled back out to the barnyard with a renewed spirit.

***

The moonlight began to pour into the barn’s walls, shining through the large gaps between the slats of lumber. A low discontented murmur settled into the main area of the barn.

“It’s not safe hereee… Hee-haw!”, an angry donkey shouted. “Our kids deserve better!”, the tiny voice of a mouse squeaked out from one of the more particularly worn rafters.

“Everyone, please… Calm down!” Phylis shouted as the crowd fell silent. “Wilford, given the most recent incident, we want to talk to you about a plan,” she said, warily.

In the middle of the night last night, one of the barn’s large boards became unloosed. It tumbled to the floor and almost crushed Gerty, one of the pigs slumbering below.

“Like I told Gerty the other night, I’m sorry. And that danged board has been causing me problems for the last few years, but I’ll tighten up the rest and we won’t have any more problems going forward,” Wilford stated.

The sounds of the crowd began to rise again, almost reaching an uproar as Phylis struggled to contain their unrest.

“BE QUIET!” Wilford’s voice suddenly boomed through every crevice of the structure. The animals again fell silent, this time so quiet you could hear the sound of the spiders scurrying up their webs. The animals stood at full command.

“I told you I will fix it, so… I will fix it,” his voice softened slightly.

“Wilford, won’t you at least listen to our concerns?” Phylis pleaded.

“I’ve been here long before any of you, and I’ll be here long after too!”, Wilford responded angrily. Phylis sunk her head with disappointment as the animals dispersed back to their sleeping quarters.

***

The animals began to stir from their collective slumber as the wind howled and sheets of rain pounded against the sides of the barn. The barn was sporadically illuminated by lightning and rattled by large claps of thunder.

Sophie nestled in tight to her grandma as water began to spray in between the large gaps in the walls.

“It’s okay everyone. I’ve got this under control,” Wilford said as panic began to wash over the group.

Suddenly, a large crack resounded through the barn as one end of a support beam snapped and came rushing towards the ground below, right where the geese were huddling. Sophia and Phylis jumped up, their little feet carrying them as quickly as they could, wings flapping wildly. The beam crashed into the ground, sending a splinter flying into Sophia’s left thigh as she honked in surprise.

“SOPHIE!”, Wilford shouted.

***

It was an exceptionally peaceful dawn. Light began to shine throughout the barn as the roosters sang their song and the other animals joyously burst out into the yard.

Wilford surveyed the damage. In addition to the collapsed beam, there were a number of other planks that had come loose, and a few of the metal roof tiles had been unseated.

"I’m glad she’s okay,” Wilford said sheepishly.

“Oh yes, it was just a little splinter; she will be just fine. She’s already out in the yard playing with the others,” Phylis responded.

Just then, Wilford saw a younger man and woman, gingerly making their way down the field towards him.

“Holy crap!” the man exclaimed as he stepped inside the barn. He shared a surprised look with the woman as they surveyed the fallen beam. “I didn’t think the storm was that bad. I’m glad all the animals are okay!”

“I guess we made the right decision to start building that new barn,” the woman responded. They continued to chatter, commenting on how excited they were to ‘leave the hustle and bustle of the city behind’, and how they were looking forward to ‘getting back to the land’. Finally, after a few excruciating minutes, they left the barn.

Wilford let out a big sigh, causing a small measure of water from last night’s relentless rain to spill out.

“You going to be okay?” Phylis asked.

Wilford took a long pause before responding, “You were right. I think it’s time to let go. Sure, everyone was okay this time, but what about the next?”, his voice beginning to quiver.

***

“This bar is so AMAZING! What is this, reclaimed barn wood? I’ve seen this in magazines!”, a man said excitedly.

“Yeah, I had the idea after we started building the new barn. I was thinking about how beautiful the old weathered wood of the original barn was, and I thought it’d be a shame not to put it to good use,” the other man responded, patting the newly built bar with pride.

Wilford felt a sense of excitement as the man ran his hand along the length of one of his freshly lacquered planks—like he had been reborn with a completely new purpose.

“Let me show you the rest of the property,” the man said as he flipped off the light and they clambered up the stairs.

"I guess retirement wasn't such a bad idea after all."

***