Sharky

It's crazy how many people are afraid of sharks. Sharks are one of the creatures you can most easily protect yourself from. Stay out of the water. That's it. Just stay out of the water and you’ll be safe.

Some people consider great white sharks to be the apex predators of the sea. The truth is that the killer whale, or orca, is the king of the oceans. Orcas are bigger and more vicious than great whites. Great white sharks have actually been found to flee and stay away from areas of the ocean as soon as orcas arrive there. We should fear killer whales, not great whites. We’ve just been desensitized to the ferociousness of the killer whale thanks to Sea World.

Thanks to Sea World we see killer whales as these cute and cuddly gentle giants. We see them jumping on command and performing choreographed moves at these shows, so we kind of see them as these huge, swimming circus clowns. They even look like clowns, if you think of it.

Sharks, though, look fierce. Great whites have these visibly huge, sharp teeth. When you look at a killer whale, it appears to have baby teeth. Yes, it’s probably because orcas are so big that their teeth look small in comparison, but looks do matter.

This is why Sharky got a tattoo of a shark. A great white shark. The fiercest looking great white tattoo he could find. One that represented him. A cold-blooded apex predator. A shark. A great white shark.

Sharky grew up on the mean streets of San Cabazon in southern California. He was known as Ricardo “Ritchie” Diaz growing up. He got that first tattoo when he was only 13. Got jumped into his first gang at 14. Broke off and started his own gang (“Landsharks”, of course) when he was 16. And, now, at the ripe age of 32, Sharky was the biggest drug kingpin in all of California. He was the leader of the California Cartel. He ruled this state. Just like the great white shark; he was a killer.

Sharky had killed his way to the top. He killed anyone that got in his way. Man, woman, or child. It didn’t matter. If you got in Sharky’s way, you died.

Sharky had no regrets about how he made his way to the top of the drug game. After all, it gave him access to everything he ever wanted: money, women, fame, power. He even had his own yacht. He named it “Great White”, of course. It was a big gorgeous yacht, too. It was so big it had its own helipad.

Of course, in this line of work, you also tend to make enemies. Dangerous enemies. Sometimes, your enemies were other drug dealers trying to eliminate their competition. But sometimes, your enemies are people that are just jealous. They want what you have. They want the money, women, fame, and power. These are the enemies you have to worry about the most. These enemies could be working for you. They can be the people that you pay to protect you. They can even be people that you believe are your friends. In Sharky’s case, it was even worse than that.

Sharky’s baby brother, Jesse, always looked up to Sharky. Sharky would’ve never suspected that Jesse would try to take him out and assume his role as the head of the cartel. Although, in hindsight, Sharky should’ve been suspicious when Jesse decided to get a tattoo of a killer whale and started calling himself “Orca”.

Orca waited until Sharky’s 32nd birthday to put his plan into motion. They sailed the Great White out to international seas to celebrate. Orca waited until Sharky was drunk, before hitting him over the head and pushing him over the side of the yacht.

It didn’t take long for the blood from the gash in Sharky’s head to attract a great white. The first couple of bites from the great white sent searing hot flashes of pain throughout his body. His body quickly became numb to the pain, though.

As Sharky’s life faded to black, he felt some humor in the irony that he had somehow become a victim of both a killer whale and a great white shark. He laughed as he wondered if his death might be featured in 1000 Ways to Die. Does that show still even exist? Maybe, his death could be re-enacted during Discovery Channel’s Shark Week?