The Internal Apocalypse

I am so hungry.

It has been 11 days since I last found any food. My water is running out. My backpack, despite having less that I have had in weeks, feels heavier than before. My stomach is screaming at me. I must push on. There must be food somewhere.

I fall to the ground and look through my bag, hoping I have missed something. Anything. Even just a crumb. I check my supplies as I go, everything is worn. It has been years since the Flash happened. I have survived, but what is surviving, if every day feels like this? I have lost everyone, everything I’ve ever loved. The only thing left is this heart shaped locket of my daughter. The chain is broken, the silver tarnished to a point where it does not even look like silver. The photo is water damaged, but I can still see her, and that is enough to keep me going.

I muster up what energy I have and check my traps, hopefully I have caught something. I get to my first trap, a rabbit snare. Triggered, but nothing. My stomach growls in frustration. A pang of hopelessness forces itself into my mind. “Why bother? You’re only delaying the inevitable” I say to myself in my mind, before quickly dismissing the thought. I push on, despite my body fighting my to just lay down and sleep. I can’t afford to sleep. Not yet. Not until I get something.

Second trap. Nothing. The thoughts return, stronger than before. It’s getting harder to fight them off. Keep going. There will be something. “No there won’t. Admit to yourself it’s over. Who’s going to care?” My mind starts to make sense… No, do not rationalise with it. Do not let it win. I pull my locket out and look at the faded photo once more. My mind goes silent for a moment, replaced with memories of a world gone. My daughters first birthday, the vacations to Disneyland. Thoughts of her happiness push the thoughts out for now. Push on. You can do this.

I head down to what used to be a lake, now it’s just a dry bed. I walk along side it, heading up the bed. Maybe there’s something up here.

After what feels like 20 minutes, I hear what sounds like running water. Hope surges through me. Energy courses through my body as I run towards the sound, my determination rises. It must be just over the rise. You can do it. As I come over the rise, I see the source of the sound. Human bodies hung from trees, gutted. Dozens of them. I cover my mouth to muffle my voice, blood is everywhere. It looks like a meat factory. I want to run, I want to move, but my body is paralyzed with fear. I’ve never seen anything like this before.

I finally muster up enough courage to move and take a step back. But what’s left of my boot slips on a rock. I fall backwards and begin to slide back down the hill. Fast. Rocks cut into my skin as they fly past. “Turn around. Turn around or you will die”. I shove my hand in to the arid dirt hard, swinging my body around. The force of the swing hurts my arm badly, but I manage to correct myself, falling feet first. I see what could have been my death. A boulder. The impact headfirst would have killed me, at least now I can dig my heels in and slow down.

I manage to slow my decent enough to safely stand back up, staggering down the remainder of the hill, dirt flying with every step. I need to get away from here before whatever or whoever made that abomination up there finds me. Move or die.

I run until I can’t run any more. The adrenaline wears off and the hunger comes back in droves. I’m mentally and physically exhausted. All that energy used for nothing. It’s getting dark now. It’s quiet. Not like a normal night quiet. There are no animals, no crickets. Only the wind whistling through dead trees. I clutch my locket in one hand, and hold my stomach as I curl up in a small alcove. It hurts to move. Sleep comes quickly.

I’m awoken at sunrise by my stomach growling again, my mouth is dry. I drink the last few drops of water from my canteen and sit up, clutching at my stomach to stifle the pain. “times running out” my mind is going to dark places again. I have to move again, I need to find food. I start to stand up and collapse. I forgot about my arm. I pull my shirt up to look at it. It’s swollen and bruised. Likely a sprain. Damn. I can’t let it stop me. Slowly, painfully, I get up. Everything hurts now. I can’t think straight. Everything is a blur. I walk to the river bed and head downhill, away from the Slaughterhouse. Stumbling, I walk forward as long as I can. Still holding the Heart locket in my hand. It’s getting hard to see. My vision is drifting in and out. I can’t stop. I’m not ready for this.

I fall, locket flying from my hand. I can’t get back up. I reach out for the locket, my only saving grace in this cruel, world, and grab it from the grass.

Grass. Wait, there isn’t grass any more. I muster all the energy I have left and focus on it. It is definitely grass. And its… wet? I’m wet… is that a dandelion in the grass? I pull myself to it and pull it out of the ground, shoving it in my mouth, It’s barely anything but I can feel my strength returning. I suck what moisture I can from the grass and roll onto my back. Smiling. The morning sun casts a warm glow on to me. I revel in the suns rays as I feel my energy and drive coming back. I’ve finally found sustenance. The dark voices are gone, replaced by relief. I stand up after what felt like an hour and look around. The grass becomes denser the further I look. And is that a river in the distance? I’ve finally found sanctuary. I cry tears of joy, smiling as I look at my silver heart locket, kiss it and clip it on around my neck, before running towards the river.