There Are No Sharks Here

Officer, I'm sure I have no idea whatsoever what you're talking about.

Sure, we own the house on the pier. Oh - I guess, I mean, it's my house now. He's gone, isn't he? He's not coming back? But, you didn't find a body? So, maybe there's a chance he'll come back?

What do you mean, not with what you found? What aren't you telling me?

No, he would never go to the end of the pier. He hated the ocean. I'm the one who begged him to buy this place, I love it here, even when the hurricanes and nor'easters come swooshing through. Sure, we evacuate when they do, I have family a few hours west. They're more than willing to put us up, they even have a guest bedroom ready for us when the weather report is-

Why? Because I thought he would come to love it, like me. I said if he didn't like it in five years, then we'd move. Oh, you saw his calendar? Yes, that's when I knew I'd have to leave, with his obsessive "four years seven months twenty-seven days" nonsense. Oh, I guess twenty-eight days, now. He loved going to work, staying late, just to stay away from the house. That's what he told me, anyway. Are you saying, he wasn't at work?

Our - what? Trash? At the end of the driveway, like always. No, no scraps, I had a compost heap like people should, but he always complained about the smell. Well, one of his many complaints. Many, many complaints. So I started taking the fresh scraps to the end of the pier, feeding the fishies. I don't let the townspeople come here and fish anymore, the fishies are my friends. I talk to them, because I'm so lonely.

No, sir, I don't care that the eels you catch after a hurricane are the best tasting. I can't stop them from fishing from the public piers, but this one is MINE, and I will not have anyone take my fishies away!

Of course there are no sharks here! I haven't seen one in all the time I've fed my fishies, and that's been....oh, dear, most of the almost five years. Let's see, I started the compost heap the week we moved in, and he was screaming about it two weeks later, and when I got back from the doctor's office-

Yes, yes he did. Yes, I know I said I walked into a door, but who would believe me?

Oh, honestly, even if he was seeing someone else, I don't care much. I have my fishies, and if he wanted to leave, all he had to do was leave. It's not like the house is worth much, and you can't even get insurance for a house like this so close to the water, and then the hurricanes-

No, I've never seen a shark here. Ever. I know the difference between shark fins and dolphin fins, thank you very much. Dolphins we have plenty, and whales come through in season. Well, there's cod, and bluefish, and sea bass, and mackerel, and halibut, and shad, and haddock-

No, there are no sharks here! Why do you keep asking? Wait, what....what are you saying?

Oh. Oh, no. No, please no.

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Hi, sis, I just got out of the hospital. They were very nice to me there, making sure I had a shoulder to cry on whenever I needed one. The nice officer took me when I passed out when- oh, I shouldn't think about that, should I?

Did you feed my fishies while I was gone? I don't want the poor things to go hungry.

Yes, I do feel better. A little, anyway. I wanted to walk a little on the beach, so I parked down the road a bit and I'm walking home now. I guess it is mine now, the lawyer called while I was sleeping to tell me he'd checked the records. Oh, him? He used to say such awful things when he was in a snit, so who knows if he was telling the truth? Though the officer thinks the girlfriend may have been real. Maybe they ran off together. That would be nice, I'd keep the fishies and the house and he could scream all he likes at someone else.

Yes, I know you told me he was bad news.

No, I don't know why the officer kept asking. I guess they can't tell me yet. That's okay. My part of the inheritance from Mama is safely tucked away, I can live quite comfortably on that. And feed my fishies, of course.

Oh, you should see all the pretty shells! Yes, a little storm kicked up when I was away. You should see how big they are! Oh, and look! So many mermaid's purses! There are so many of them! Hundreds, maybe thousands! Oh, it shall be a good summer after all.