When The Void Answers

Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say. The first thing you learn about space travel as a cadet is the danger of underestimating the nothingness of space. It is the perfect name, space. It is the in-between of worlds, a fathomless chasm of emptiness. A total void. As I stare out at the immense blackness surrounding me, I can barely register the pinpoints of light from distant galaxies. The one thing that they don’t train you for is the cold. The suits for spacewalks hull maintenance are insulated, but just like a heavy coat on a snowy day, the cold permeates the layers and seeps into you. Today it feels like the cold has gone beneath my skin and settled in my soul.

The lights from the hull lamps on the Odyssey are the only things that seem to penetrate the blackness. What was that quote about ‘light traveling fast but it always finds darkness there first?’ I will have to check the library when I get off shift. Killian always says I get too in my head when I am on hull check duty, and given my current thoughts, he is probably right. We are part of a three-hundred-person crew sent to explore a newly discovered nebula on the outer rim of Galaxy 12,548b; they don’t even bother naming them anymore because there are just too many.

Have we discovered life on other planets? Of course, I mean with over ten thousand galaxies did people really believe we were alone in the universe? Some planets were more advanced, some less. We haven’t reached the Star Trek level of interplanetary cooperation. Most planets want to stick to dealing with their own problems; why make others deal with your issues? It is relatively peaceful, there is always that one rogue planet but most of the time people on planets would rather fight amongst themselves. Earth isn’t so different.

The Odyssey’s mission is indefinite; it will take thirty years alone to reach the Angel Wing Nebula, Killian still likes to name things, but thankfully humans have perfected cryosleep. Only fifty crew members are awake at a time. We stay awake for five years then trade off. Most people might think it is a lonely life, but those of us in the crew didn’t have much to leave behind, to begin with. My comms flicker into action, pulling me from the expanse. “Okay West, time to come back from wherever your mind wandered off to this time.” Killian is monitoring the walks today, go figure.

“What makes you think my mind wandered anywhere?”

“Well, given the fact that you have been stationary in quadrant eighteen for the past twenty minutes but didn’t turn on any of your equipment is a decent indication that space got to you again.” Twenty minutes? Had it been that long? “So, was I right or is there an issue in eighteen that you don’t know how to fix?”

“Don’t get too full of yourself Killian. Everyone knows who the best engineer in the entire crew is, and it’s not you.” Killian chuckled. How dare he say there is a structural issue that I couldn’t fix? I know he is joking of course but mom always said that I took things too seriously when it comes to my work. The stab of pain never went away when she made a sudden appearance in my memory.

“Well given that knowledge, time to come back to the present ok.” I make a noise of acknowledgment and take another hard look around eighteen to ensure I didn’t miss anything then I move over to nineteen. I only have two more quadrants to check before they call us in and the precious time that I wasted lost in space is not beneficial to the oxygen reserves.

Nineteen was a breeze, with no leaks, scrapes, or general space damage, but the lights seem to be a bit off so I let Killian know to have a note made to check the internal wiring. Twenty follows the same routine and I make up my lost time in expert fashion. As I crest the rounded edge of the Odyssey I once again look out into the expanse of space.

Is it any wonder that I get lost out here? All of us have reasons for accepting this mission: hope, adventure, avoidance, love, but for me . . . I am searching. The problem with space is that it is so immense that I may never find what I am searching for.

Mom always said when we die the universe takes us back and creates something new and beautiful in space. Dad called it wishful thinking but he never argued with her. Sometimes I would even catch him looking extra hard at certain areas of his astrological studies like he might actually agree with mom.

The love they had for each other was so immense that it had eclipsed everything around them. Dad used to say that space was the only place capable of holding the amount of love he had for mom because it was infinite. It’s only fitting that they worked at the Universe Program together, studying the endless expanse. It was also right that whatever entity, being, or law that controlled the universe took them from me together. That was the only blessing in their loss. Neither one of them would have survived without the other; I truly believe that. So, the fact they died together brought me a measure of comfort, but that doesn’t mean that losing them didn’t permanently alter every aspect of my life.

I spent years being angry at my dad for his stupid mistake that took them from me. I desperately tried to forgive him for being the reason I was alone, and sometimes I get close but right now as I look out at the void, I can’t. This mission is taking my crew to the furthest galaxy that humans have discovered to date. I volunteered for this mission because I am searching for my parents’ new home in the universe. I don’t know if they are stars, planets, or even twin moons circling each other but I don’t care. I know I will recognize them if I see them again, and I need that closure. I need to say goodbye, but space is infinite and I fear I’ll never find them.

I glance down and register that there are ten minutes left on hull check. The silence is what I enjoy most about being out here. Most of the other crew say it feels oppressive, but for me, the absolute quiet is freeing. Complete silence is what I need right now, so I reach over to the comms control on my right wrist and turn it off. I am momentarily disconnected from everything. Nothing is being recorded, nothing is being transmitted. It is just me and the complete silence of space. I stand rooted to the ship by my magnetized boots and take in the emptiness. No one can hear me, and no one can see me because comms also controls the helmet cameras so those are off too. It is just me, so for the first time, I let the emotions that have driven me for the last fifteen years take control and I scream.

The sound that comes out of me is primal and echoes inside my helmet. It is what I imagine the complete surrender to pain is like. I need something to be true. I need to feel like my place in the universe exists because after my parents died all I have ever felt is lost and alone. I open my eyes and once again take in the blackness. No one can hear me. My desperation truly fell into the void, lost in the nothingness of space. I take a deep breath and bring my comms back online. I hear Killian grumbling about rogue engineers and how they need to be taught a lesson about communication and I chuckle.

“Good to know you are still with us West.”

“My comms were turned off for two minutes. I checked the time so don’t try to argue. You still had access to my vitals on the monitors. There was never a doubt that I wasn’t alright.”

“Not the point!” Killian huffed and began to broadcast on the open channel. “Hull check is down to three minutes. Make your way back to your dock stations.” Acknowledgments from the other crew outside the ship began to filter through and I started making my way back to my dock. I pause to take one last look in the direction of our voyage but as I did a wave of pressure suddenly shot across me throwing me off balance.

The open channel went crazy. “What the hell was that?” “Did anyone else feel that?” “That shouldn’t happen in space!” “That felt like an ocean wave.”

“Everyone calm down! The ship registered the pressure too. Get back to your docks now! We don’t know what it was but everyone needs to be inside while we figure it out.” The sounds of panic coming from the rest of the crew propelled me forward. Whatever that was, it could not be good. Waves of pressure should not exist in a vacuum, which is what space is, so whatever that was we needed to know. I moved to my dock as quickly as possible and I noticed all the other crew doing the same. I looked out one more time as I push open my docking door and for just a moment, I thought I saw light flickering inside the blackness.

The docking station door closed behind me and I waited as the decontamination “shower” started. The high-pressure dry chemical spray is designed to remove the solar radiation that exists everywhere in space. The amount of radiation that penetrates the ship through the solar shield and exterior walls is small enough that we are not in danger but removing the contaminants from the suits is a necessary precaution. The shower took ten minutes, usually, it’s a pleasant time for me to decompress before getting back to work, but today it felt like an eternity.

As soon as the shower kicked off and the doors opened, I rushed out and stripped the suit off as quickly as possible. I threw on my sneakers and ran toward central command. When the doors opened, I felt the chaos permeating the air. The sensor indicators were going off, and warning lights were flashing on every console, but thankfully I did not see any critical notices on any boards. “What are the readings, Killian?”

“The best we can guess right now is that it must have been a radiation wave. The only thing capable of causing that kind of pulse this deep in space is the ripple effect from a supernova.” The explanation began seeping in and I felt my fears begin to settle as science offered the refuge of logic. “The problem is that the sensors are registering multiple waves. We might be looking at additional impacts with no reliable indicator of when they will hit or how big they will be.”

Not as frightening as the unknown but continuous waves with unknown amounts of radiation could be disastrous for the ship. “Were any of the systems compromised by the initial wave?”

Killian looked a bit frustrated as he glanced up at me from his console. “We haven’t run any diagnostics yet. We are still trying to understand the readings that the long-range sensors are picking up so we have a baseline for the radiation waves.” Killian was a planner, which made him an excellent primary officer, but always looking ahead meant that immediate necessities went overlooked. Preparing the ship and crew for what might happen is important, but if anything was wrong right now then we might not have an eventually to prepare for.

“Alright, you keep reading and analyzing the data output. I am going to do a complete system diagnostic. First, to make sure no life systems or necessary mechanical functions were compromised. Second, to determine if the sensors are working properly and providing you with accurate data.” I turned to leave command and head down to my hole in the belly of the beast.

“Thanks, West. I don’t know where we would be without you sometimes.”

Without turning around, I waved bye, “Lost Killian, you would be absolutely lost.” I hurried but did not run to the engine deck. I considered the command center to be like the frontal cortex, it interprets the world and makes decisions, so the engineering deck was the rest of the brain. This was the center for all the non-conscious operations of the entire ship. Without a properly functioning engineering deck, the ship would literally fall apart and everyone would die.

So, most vital systems check come first: life support, oxygen, plant production, cryosleep, structural integrity, and external shield operation. The list and order of which systems to check first grew in my head as I began the diagnostics. It seemed endless; the number of systems required to keep the ship functioning constantly amazed me. The fact that I knew how to operate, maintain and fix every single one of those systems occasionally blew my mind. I felt a little smug and quietly patted my own back, remembering that I designed and built some of the systems personally. I move through diagnostics and codes as my crew assists me in completing the ship-wide check. Nothing appeared to be malfunctioning which was a relief and my crew started to relax, but something just didn’t feel right.

Why had there been so much chaos in the command center with the sensors appearing to be in a constant state of flux if everything was operational and functioning normally? Something wasn’t adding up and it irritated me. What am I not seeing? Is there a system I missed? Did I run the correct diagnostic on every system that I checked? I set my elbow on my console, steepled my fingers together, and rested my forehead against them. I mentally ran through every system, every level, every layer of the ship, but I couldn’t think of anything. I opened my eyes hoping the unsettled feeling would pass. The intercom kicked on as a call from command came through.

“Hey Real,” of course Killian would have Nova in command crunching numbers, “have you finished your system checks?”

“Systems appear to be functioning normally.”

“You don’t sound convinced.” She knew me well.

“Am I ever completely convinced?”

Nova chuckled at my quip. “I don’t think you ever are. The sensors have finally stabilized and we are getting some ridiculous data. I would love to get your eyes on it. I may be the number cruncher but your mind works in ways I could only dream of and the patterns we are reading off might be right up your alley. If everything is stable, can you come up?” Was there anything more I could do here? Probably not.

“Give me a couple of minutes and I will be up.” Nova thanked me and turned off the intercom. I scanned the system read-outs once more and looked around at my crew. They were trying to look like they weren’t waiting on me for the all-clear. The hairs on my neck had stopped standing up when Nova told me the sensors were giving stable read-outs but the niggling feeling in the back of my mind was still there.

“Everyone I need to go to command, but I want you to all split the systems list and re-run a complete diagnostic analysis on every system. Nick, you take all the life support systems. Daisy, I want you to check the computer systems and functions. Steve, physical systems if there was any sort of structural compromise we need to know. Jameson, do a full sweep of plant and food systems. Maggie, I am putting you on the reactors and coding output.” They all nodded but did not seem convinced the work was necessary. “I know it is a lot of work gang. That wave may have felt small, but it caused something in command to go haywire. That could mean any system might have been affected in even the smallest way. All it takes for the ship to go down is one missed leak. I just want to make sure we are all safe.” This seemed to reach them. No one on my team was willing to risk the lives of our entire crew because we made a mistake. As they all began working on their assignments, I reluctantly left the deck and trekked back to command.

This time the air was buzzing with activity but the level of controlled hysteria was replaced with quiet fascination. The consoles were no longer beeping. Instead, there was a steady stream of code that kept updating on the screens. The analysts pointed at different lines, made notes, and discussed what they could mean. Nova had her eyes glued to her tablet as she made calculation scribbles on the clear note board by her station. Killian was standing behind her reading over her shoulder. He looked a little lost as Nova’s mind made leaps within her calculations that he couldn’t follow. Nova is beyond genius. So, I don’t understand why she thinks my mind works in fascinating ways that are necessary to understanding the data. “What exactly do you expect me to be able to help make sense of that you can’t?”

Nova and Killian both look at me as I step closer to them. “Real, I wish you could appreciate how amazing your mind is. I can analyze numbers and data all day and give you exact mathematical outcomes, but those outcomes are meaningless without interpretation. You have an uncanny way of looking at my math and figuring out the big picture and what it all means. I need your imagination and insight to make leaps that aren’t strictly logical but ultimately explain the data.” Killian looked a bit annoyed. He hates my non-linear approach to problems, but he couldn’t deny that I had an uncanny tendency of being right.

“If you think my crazy theories have merit, who am I to tell you no.” I pulled over a chair and she began explaining the math and data points pooling out of the sensors. They had confirmed it was a radiation wave of nuclear proportions. Luckily the wave hadn’t damaged the ship or hurt anyone that had been outside, but we will need a full medical evaluation to be sure. The sensors were picking up frequencies from other waves that seemed to be rippling away from a location forward of our position but they traveled in different directions. As the numbers were laid out a picture started forming in my mind of pebbles being dropped in a pond. The ripples from each pebble would disrupt the other ripples on the water's surface.

“What are you thinking?” Nova watched me closely as what she was explaining took shape in my mind.

“The kind of wave we experienced was almost like the furthest ripple from a singular event, but the other waves you’re measuring don’t originate from the same event. It is almost like the waves are running into each other and counteracting each other.” Nova walked to her board and began to draw a graphic depiction of the waves. I think in pictures while she thinks in numbers. Maybe our combined brains do help us figure out answers.

As she drew people started gravitating toward the board, watching the two of us work in tandem, figuring out exactly what was happening. “You are right Real, the origins of the waves are different and counteract each other making larger and smaller waves.” She stepped back and continued to stare at the board. “But what I don’t understand is what the origins of the waves could be.” I folded my hands and rested my chin on them as I focused on her drawing. The same niggling feeling began returning as I stared at the board. My eyes lost focus as I imagined the emptiness of space in front of us and the course we were on. Our systems were hardwired to follow a set course. The navigation was so precise that it had to be perfect if we wanted to reach our destination. Wait. The navigation!

I stood up, throwing my chair back, and refocused on the board. “No, no, no, no!” I turned and ran from command with several voices trailing after me, but I didn’t stop. My team was still at their stations working when I ran onto the deck. “Maggie, pull up the navigation system and put it on the round table display.”

Maggie whipped around at the tone of my voice. “I already checked the nav system Commander. It’s functioning correctly.”

“I didn’t ask if it was functioning Maggie. I need the navigation system on the round table display now!”

“Real, what is it?” Nova ran up behind me but my mind was racing a million miles ahead of me.

“Not now Nova. Steve, pull up all our previous celestial layouts of sector sixty and put them on the right wall display.” The round table lit up with the hologram of the navigation system. I went over and rearranged the images until the complete layout of the navigation route was displayed.

“West,” Killian’s voice broke into my momentum, “talk to us.”

“Give me a minute. Daisy, open our long-range mapping system on the left wall and input the new data points from the sensors and recalculate the layout of sixty from them.” My mind was racing, please, don’t let me be right! I continued to move from one screen to the other making slight adjustments as I went then moved back to the round table as the picture took shape in my mind. God, please, please, please don’t let me be right!

“Commander Ethereal West!” There is nothing like ingrained academy training to snap a person to attention. Killian was done waiting. I did an about-face and took in his and Nova’s worried looks. “Explain yourself now!”

“I need to figure out if I am right first.”

Nova moved forward, “Then tell us, and maybe we can help,” her plea reached me.

“Remember when all the crew commanders were meeting with Senior Command to finalize mission parameters and routes; Gray wanted to change the navigation course for the mission that Senior Command had set. He said that we didn’t know enough about Charlie Centurion the star slingshot point in sector sixty. The only information we had on the sector were the telescope readings of Charlie Centurion and based on those readings the star was unstable. He also said that because we didn’t know the full breakdown of the surrounding space it was smarter to slingshot from the Beta Centauri system.”

Both Killian and Nova nodded recalling the tense meeting where Gray had laid out his concerns, and the solutions he had to address them. “Senior Command denied his request and suggestions,” Nova stated.

Killian was a bit more forthright in his recollection. “No, they dismissed his concerns because his suggestions would have added an extra fifteen years to our travel time and required an additional hundred and fifty crew members to accommodate the course alteration.”

“Money is always the deciding factor on Earth. Anyway, our course was finalized and the navigation system was locked. Now navigation has complete control of the route the ship is taking.”

“Why are you worried about that?” Nova’s empathy was feeding off my fear and causing her to grow more anxious.

“All the data we are receiving is from sector sixty. Gray was right the star was unstable, and based on the new sensor readouts we have it obviously wasn’t the only celestial body in that sector.” I moved to my board and began to recreate what Nova had drawn in command. She hadn’t realized what she drew because she thinks in numbers, but her numbers had shown me a terrifying picture. “The waves came from multiple points, four in fact.” I drew a large dot and three smaller dots at varying distances from the large one. “The largest waves came from the primary supernova, and I believe that explosion caused a chain reaction which detonated three subsequent supernovas.”

Nova stepped closer to the board as her numbers began making sense. “That would explain the cross ripples that we saw in the data, but why does that have you so concerned?”

She still didn’t understand her picture. “Nova, the ripples you drew didn’t all continue outward. Most of them disappear at the center of the four explosions, but things can’t just disappear.”

Killian took a sharp breath, “No.” He got it now.

“If I am right, based on the course we are on, and the data we have Charlie Centurion was not the only star in sector sixty. It must have had a twin star in orbit and their light eclipsed that of the other two stars. This means if Charlie Centurion went supernova and caused a chain reaction with the three neighboring stars the combined force of their explosions might have created a black hole at the center of their orbits.”

Nova’s eyes grew wide as she took in my theory. “But we can change course, can’t we?”

I looked over the faces of everyone around me as the reality of my fears began to sink in. “The navigation system is set on a course that has to be maintained. The reason we slowed for maintenance where we did was because that was the only area of space on our route to sector sixty that was void enough of celestial interference that it wouldn’t alter our course. But the second everyone came back inside after the hull check the ship’s navigation system took over, raised the solar shield, and sent us back into hyper speed. We may be hurtling toward a non-existent slingshot point. Instead, we are traveling at near light speed directly into a black hole.”

Steven had the maps of the sector pulled up and Daisy was franticly trying to calculate the new data entry points the sensors provided. “That is why the sensors were going nuts. The navigation system relies on the long-distance sensors for course correction between slingshots. The sensors were no longer able to find Charlie Centurion’s data signature.”

“But if the sensors can’t find the right signature doesn’t that mean that the system will shut down and allow for a manual input?” Killian asked. I take a breath and remind myself that Killian is not an engineer.

“No, the system makes automatic corrections and finds the mass with the closest signature, because the system assumes that old data is not always currently accurate. When it finds the closest signature the system assumes that is the point it needs to adjust to because of the constant fluctuation of celestial bodies.” Nova had moved to Daisy’s station and had gently nudged her out of the way. She began typing and calculating at an unbelievable pace.

Numbers began to flow onto the display screen as the computer interpreted the calculations into pictures, and the pit in my stomach grew. Nova had created a model rendering of the supernovas. They had indeed created a negative space that was absorbing the waves around it. The model was also progressing as Nova continued to type. She began extrapolating from the data point the numbers and inputting them into the model to show the growth and change of the space based on the current readings. The model showed the black hole growing to an enormous size and the space around the hole was being manipulated by its mass in multiple directions.

Nova stopped typing and lifted her fingers slowly from the keyboard as the reality of what she just created hit her. I watched the model as my fears became reality. Killian was still in fix-it mode, “Can’t we use the model simulation and adjust the slingshot using the black hole.”

Nova slumped back into the chair she occupied. “No, we can’t. Black holes are unpredictable. There is no accurate way to determine if a slingshot would be thrown off by the opposing gravity on separate sides of the hole. Slingshots work because stars have a central gravity that pulls things to their center. Black holes don’t work that way. The gravity around them can be manipulated in multiple directions, making a slingshot impossible.” Killian didn’t like that answer, so he was really going to hate my next statement.

“The navigation system is also the nucleus of the ship’s entire operating function. Based on our position and the timing of the slingshots it changes the cryosleep and life-support operations. If we don’t figure out how to either change course or adjust for this in a few days we are either going to be thrown into a black hole or the navigation system is going to automatically recalibrate. If that happens it could kill everyone on the ship.” The silence let me know that everyone understood the severity of the situation facing us.

I stepped toward the model of the black hole and watched it grow. I had screamed into the void believing that nothing could hear me, but the void had answered.