We Need To Talk About How Horny Women Get After A Certain Age

For a huge part of my life, I had never been big on sex. As a woman socialised in a society that emphasised "purity" particularly for my gender, I wasn't really interested in such matters for most of my teens.

I kissed my first guy when I turned 18 while we hid behind a thicket and I touched his hard penis which I thought was humongous as he fondled my breasts and buttocks. I have to add that when I actually got to see it a few years later, it wasn't as big as I had thought it was at 18. Also, after I went home, I later got worried that I had gotten pregnant from this brief encounter. I usually tell friends this and they laugh at me. Thing is, I knew how it all worked, I wasn't stupid. I was just naive. But I liked this first experience. Especially the fondling. He was hungry and uninhibited and I loved it.

It wasn't until I turned 20 that I had my first penetrative sexual encounter. I would never say I was into sex that much all through my early 20s. As I met him in uni, my then-boyfriend and I would have different semester schedules and would be away from each other for several months at a time which gave me a somewhat irregular sex life for an early 20s-year-old. But the sex was great and intense. Of course not as rich as it would be now, but I wouldn't complain about it.

After I started working and as I wasn't in committed relationships for most of my mid 20s, I would go for long periods without having sex. I even went for 2 years plus without experiencing dick.

My late 20s became something else! Dick was a must have! At these ages, if I wanted it, I wanted it. And I had to get it. I got me a friend with benefits to mutually take care of our sexual needs. I couldn't brush the feeling off or wank it away like I had been doing a few years earlier. My body would not allow me to.

My sexual needs became that nagging feeling that you just had to properly take care of for it to go away. Self pleasuring myself and consuming pornography just didn't help the situation. My body wanted satisfaction. It hungrily craved for it. And it was very specific about it. It wanted a man. It wanted all those physical male parts, energies and vibes. And that is just what I got it.

Now that I am in my early thirties, the huge sexual craving has gotten more intense. Having listened to other friends that are going through the same, I can tell that it's a thing that women my age go through.

When a woman my age gets horny, she is literally on fire. Her whole body gets hot! Her vagina gets super wet, super warm and even begins to ooze. Panties get soaked and her body craves sexual touch badly! Fantasies get more vivid and anything in sight that looks like it can fulfil that desire is not spared.

I imagine the men that are in relationships with women who are going through this are usually rejoicing. I can imagine the feeling of your woman hungrily grabbing you and giving it to you in the horniest, sluttiest, nastiest way possible. I can imagine the man complying with all the risque needs and wants of his needy woman. It must be hot!

Awe unto those of us who do not have regular, easily accessible, beck and call dick at our disposal! And more awe unto that woman going through this that does not have a man that satisfies the feeling completely! Better to not have sex at all than to have lousy sex in my opinion. I'd rather have bad food for a week, than bad sex twice. If I give it to you, especially when I want it badly, you have to quench that desire.

The sex toy industry probably thrives mostly because of women in this age group. The heightened sex drive requires more than one tool to satisfy the feeling.

Photo by Dainis Graveris on UnsplashBeing super horny as a woman in my thirties feels like my whole body is conspiring against me trying to trick me into having a child. It makes me crave dick badly with my entire system. It starts with my brain giving me the hottest fantasies about men. When I walk the streets during my intense horny days, I notice the manly features of men more. I notice their beards, thighs, shoulders, fingers, hands, chests, ass and muscles. I start to have imaginations about how those could be of use to me sexually. The only time I would notice the sexy manliness of men before this super horny phase, was only on matters directly related to sex.

Now I notice it when they walk, talk, and in other totally random situations. Sometimes, I even find myself initiating random sex-related conversations with the men I encounter. It can get really embarrassing and I can imagine how at fault I am for inadvertently leading a man on when I'd practically and reasonably not want him sexually.

The sole biological purpose of any species is to ensure its perpetuation. And nature does not spare humans from this. When ovulating, the whole female biological system works towards ensuring that conception happens. Women of all age groups get very horny during this time in their cycles. When ovulating after a woman reaches a certain age, the whole body works harder in my experience.

As an emotionally unavailable woman, I guess I'd fall in love with the man that would be wholly committed to easing my troubles during these sexually torturous times. Humans beings are very reciprocating. He'd be doing me a huge favour, and I guess I'd be inspired and fulfilled enough to do him the favour of making the effort to attempt to open up my heart to him. No guarantees though. But if he'd give it to me, I'd also be giving it to him and I guess that would be fair as-is.

When I was younger, I didn't understand why boys and men behaved the way they did when it came to matters sex. It is until about a year ago when someone explained it to me. He said that what I feel when I am horny as a woman in my early 30s is probably what men feel very often throughout their high sexual drive phases. Which is most of their lives, beginning from around age 14 up to their early 40s.

I do not know how true this is, but if that is what it feels most of the time when a man gets horny, then I apologise for judging them too harshly in the past. In all honesty, and from personal experience, it can get really desperate and very frustrating.

I should add that heightened sexual drives should not be used as an excuse by anyone to coerce or manipulate others into having sex with them. It is annoying, humiliating, hurtful and traumatising. At their worst, those are sex crimes and should be punished severely. There are many healthy ways to deal with high sex drives. Sex toys, regular self-pleasuring, a prior informed and consenting friend with benefits, safe consumption of erotica and pornography and even safely buying sex are avenues one can explore singularly and combined to fulfil their intense desires. As bad as it might feel, you will also not die from not having sex.

I do not know whether these intense feelings of horniness only happen to women that do not yet have kids. As I have not yet experienced what child care and child-rearing can do to a woman's sex drive, I cannot comment on this with certainty yet. But I would imagine most women of these ages whether they have kids or not, physically crave it as badly.

Let's just hope that the men and women that pleasure us, are up for this intense task ahead of them.

Sex education is poor in many parts of the world. It concentrates on the hard facts and is riddled with shame and embarrassment. A lot of people are left to figure out the details by themselves or through their peers using very uninformed, misinformed, completely ignorant, biased and even uncouth means.

I find it sad by extension that no one told this to us women. No one told us that we were going to want and crave sex really badly when we reached a certain age. Even for those of us that didn't have sex as their really important thing in their lives prior to this. They left us to confusion and to embarrassing and frustrating personal experiences.

I hope we women that have gone through these experiences do not let the other women down. Let us share amongst ourselves. Let us sing songs and write stories about it. Let us lobby for detailed and conclusive research on these subjects. Let us teach our younger sisters, younger cousins and our children about this. Let us spread as much information as we can and empower ourselves through it. That way, we can be ready to tackle it effectively when it happens.

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