No, Dead Bodies Don’t Get Erections (Here’s What Really Happens)

Male corpses do not get erections, nor can they ejaculate. If you’ve heard this information, get off social media. It’s fake news often spread online, but I’m here with the truth.

It’s wild to think a dead man gets an erection when he sees the Medical Examiner or someone else involved in the death process. But, he doesn’t get a boner, according to Judy Melinke, M.D., forensic pathologist.

She says blood flows to the penis occasionally when a man dies lying face down. It’s rare and is not an actual erection. The ‘cum’ is not ejaculate, either. Dr. Melinke says it's seepage from the prostate gland.

So if you thought men’s sexual provocation continued after death, I’m truly sorry to disappoint you. Hopefully, I can redeem myself by telling you some of the cool things our bodies actually can do after death.

1. Lose Control of Bodily Functions

The most well-known fact about dead bodies is that they lose control of bodily functions. It usually happens immediately after death, but may occur hours later. If you didn’t know, here’s free lesson number one. The colon and bladder continue to do their thing as muscle tension releases. You’re not alive to contract the muscles, so you poop and pee on yourself. You have been warned. Pack those Depends.

2. Digest Food

Gut bacteria are tough little bloggers that live even when you die. The boogers continue to digest any food you consumed before passing. It can cause gases and fluids to build in the stomach, but you won’t feel a thing. It’s complicated, so I’ll stay in my lane. If you want the science behind it, click this link.

3. Make Noise

No, your dead body isn't going to strike up a convo with Uncle Earl, but according to science, it may very well make noises for several hours after you pass. Science says the human body can moan, groan, and make other interesting sounds due to oxygen trapped in the lungs. If I’m being honest, this is reason #9,893 why I could never work in a morgue.

4. Muscle Movement

Expect muscle movement for up to 12 hours after death. Arms, legs, and even fingers may twitch and move due to nerve activity and chemical changes. Picture the moving, moaning, groaning corpse at midnight. No, thank you.

5. Fart

So I told you how the gut continues to digest food. Well, this causes gas build-up, which eventually needs to escape. It does so the same way it would if you were alive, except it may exit through any hole in your body, including the mouth. The anus, however, is still the most common exit.

So, no, a corpse won’t get a boner or cum, but I think a moaning, groaning, moving, farting corpse is exciting enough. Morticians and Medical Examiners are the real MVPs!

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