Reincarnation

I can't do this anymore. I need to get out.

Looking around this plain white room to see if I could even get out. At least find something to use to help me get out. Unfortunately, being in a mental institution there would be no use even trying to get out. I won't even make it too far anyway.

Pounding ing at the door, followed by the door flying open. A female nurse followed by 3 men- all dressed in similar nursing outfits.

Looking at the nurse and her unnecessary bodyguards: "Let's take your medication and go to therapy."

"I don't need medication. I don't want to take anything. They make me weird and I become a zombie."

"You have no choice. You need to be medicated," the nurse now frustrated and impatient.

"I have basic human rights and you can't force them on me."

"You've been here for 6 weeks now and we go through the same thing almost every day. Now let's take your medication and it's time for your therapy session."

"I'm unsure how long I have been here. So, I'm supposed to take your word on it? You say I have been here for 6 weeks but you have me so overly medicated I don't even remember that. You don't find that to be a problem?"

"Why are you being difficult?"

"Why are you drugging me to the point of becoming a zombie? I am not difficult I am simply asking about my own health care. I do have the right to refuse care and medication. I am willing to go with you and your henchmen to see the therapist."

The nurse sighed and rolled her eyes: "No funny business. We don't want a relapse of what happened last time."

I have no idea what she is talking about. But I do have this weird dream? Memory? In this same scenario where I was in this uncomfortable white jacket for what seemed to be forever but was for a few days.

We exit the room into this long bright white hall. This hall feels so depressing. After a couple of turns and an elevator ride, we end up at the therapist's office.

"Good Morning Kris, How are you feeling today? Nurse Jenny says you're refusing to take your medication. Is this true?"

"I would like to know why I am taking them. They turn me into a zombie. Apparently, I have been here 6 weeks but I have no recollection of coming here or the time I have been here. You don't see a problem with that? Isn't this a mental hospital? A place I can get better and heal. Eventually, well enough to leave this place?"

"You are never getting out of here. I will adjust your medications and work with you. Unfortunately, you are here for a reason."

"Which is what? What is the reason? I don't think I need medication. Just seems you want me a zombie and tuck me away."

"That isn't our intention and you know that."

"What is it that I know? Considering I just told you about the medication and what it's doing to me. You are devaluing me and not listing. You're only gaslighting me. I'm telling you something is wrong- medication is too much and I am not sure why I am doing here or how I ended up here. You won't tell me. You can't hold me hostiage and I do have the right to know why I am here."

"Kris, it's not that simple."

"It is though! What is going on? What are you hiding from me?"

"You."

~

7 weeks earlier

"I can't take this anymore. I just want it to stop."

The therapist looks up from her notepad: "What is it you can't take anymore? What needs to stop?"

Is this lady serious? I've been coming to see this therapist for almost 3 years.

"The nightmares. Seeing the shadow people. I often get stuck in a sleep paralysis and the Hat Man that appears. They are helping more often and seeing shadow people more often then usual."

"Kris, have you been taking your medication?"

"Why is that all you care about? Pill pushing?"

I'm annoyed and doesnt seem like anyone wants to listen to me.

"I'm not crazy. I don't need pills. I just need someone to talk to. I pay you to listen and help me process all of these things. If you're unable to do that, than maybe you arn't a good fit for me."

"That's not what I meant. I'm trying to help you- I want to help you. Usually these appear and happens when someone is stressed out and under pressure somewhere in their life," The therapist is trying to back peddle everything.

"Do these shadow people or The Hat Man say anything to you?"

I sighed. It seems like she wants to help but feels like she just wants me medicated; "No, they just point at me and their mouths get bigger and bigger. They are screaming- I can feel them screaming but I don't hear them scream."

~

After therapy- I'm not even sure why I go. I constantly feel worse and I feel crazy.

It's around 9pm. I walk home from therapy since I dont actually live too far from my therapists office.

It feels like someone is falling me. When I look behind me I see someone disappear- a shadow that looks like the Hat Man. I didn't get a good view since it disappeared so quickly.

I walk a little faster home but I still feel the presence of someone watching- following me. I make it home and in the corner of my eye I see the Hat Man.

"What the fuck. Okay. That's it. You need to fuck off and leave me the hell alone. You are not welcome here."

He disappeared. I didn't see him for rest of the night. In the morning I call my boyfriend Matt. He came over to check things over.

"Babe, I don't see any signs of someone breaking here or being here. Is it happening again?"

I look at my feet; "Yea."

"Okay, that's it. I'm staying here tonight."

~

Now in the hospital.

"What is that even supposed to mean?"

"Do you remember what has happened the time leading up to why you are here?"

I tried remember time before I cam here.