An Unnecessary Announcement from L.B. about the Perils of A.I. Picture Generation

⚡I am loathe to admit it but this is not exactly comedy.

I do realize I'm here in the Humor Community and I promise, this is basically a preview for epic hilarity.

You'll see.

Allow me tell you an Origin Story: the True Tale of how personal disaster led to the funny shit that will follow soon.

⚡_______________⚡

I had not planned to enter the Public Announcement challenge.

I couldn't concieve of a premise to write about.

Then, at the very last minute, just two hours before the deadline, an idea popped: a poem about deadlines.

My sense of humor had been totally drowned by the holidays + my birthday in January. December was a depressed month for me. But once I got beyond my birthday, my sense of humor reappeared like gift from Jackie Gleason's ghost.

So I wrote what I hoped was a funny poem, which poured out of me fairly quick.

A true incident that occurred shortly after I started the poem-- I then integrated into the poem.

So I had the words all written and I was spending the last 40 minutes or so before the deadline generating stupid A.I. images.

I could have easily submitted my entry well ahead of the deadline and then just kept editing it until the deadline, therefore not missing the deadline!

But you wanna know how my fool mind works?

<You really don't but I'm going to tell you anyway.>

Since the poem was about submitting right before a deadline, I wanted to submit it one minute before the deadline! Just, you know, for that extra je ne sais quoi.

I've missed deadlines before for challenges. Once I thought I was entered in a challenge... and it turned out I had published it in the right community, but I forgot to hit the challenge entry submission button!

😦 Doh!

So I knew my spontaneous plan to give my poem extra impact (submitting one minute before the deadline) was fraught with danger.

I was nervous as the clock ticked down from 11:56. Seriously. My chest got really tight and I'm sure my pulse was pulsing. I didn't want to fuck up but I was waiting for that very last minute!

It finally hit!

I submitted just in time, just 27 seconds before midnight!

⚡😁👍

Then, just moments later I went to the challenge page to see my entry there... and it wasn't there!

　 　 (●__●)

For a few seconds I couldn't figure out what happened. I wondered if I got the date wrong.

I looked at the submission guidelines and gasped.

⚡⚡⚡ 😲 ⚡⚡⚡

⚡⚡↯( ≧Д≦)↯⚡⚡

I should have submitted seconds before my clock hit 11:59, not seconds before midnight!!!!

I'd waited one minute too long!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!

⚡↯<<( ᕙ[･۝･]ᕗ )>>↯⚡

I'm exaggerating.

Slightly.

I probably only awakened my immediate neighbors with my screams.

And the cats eventually came out of hiding from under the bed.

In all seriousness (?), I wasn't that upset. Certainly, I wasn't as mad at myself as I was that time when I published a story but failed to hit the submit-to-challenge dealie.

I wasn't pissed because I knew it added to the humor.

⚡😁👍

I love being an idiot.

I feel like I'm really talented at it.

Since the poem I wrote is silly... I took it out of Poetry where it needed to be as an entry for the challenge, and I moved it over here to the Humor Community.

In the grand scheme of things, that suits me fine.

After midnight came and I realized I fucked up... I decided to just add to it to make the damn thing even funnier. I was up until 4:30 am working on it, and basically all I was doing for those extra hours was adding more stupid A.I. pics to it.

This👇 is the weirdness I've been talking about...

It's really weird. See that giraffe? He'll tell you.

So after "augmenting" the humor, specifically adding more 🐧penguins🐧🐧🐧 I finally went to sleep an hour or two before dawn.

I woke up the next day to see that Vocal gave me a Top Story. That, naturally, put a big smile on my face. (◔‿◔) Since the poem is about how I missed the challenge deadline, I suppose Vocal gave me the Top Story totally out of pity.

That works for me!

⚡😁👍

All this is expected, right?

Nothing new to see there. 👆

Now is where this story takes a dark & unexpected turn.

⚡_______________⚡

After I published my crazy poem (I'm leaving the link at the bottom also) I saw in the comments what I always hope for--> LOLs and 🤣😂s.

Then something happened to me that I have never experienced before on Vocal.

In the comments, someone I've never interacted with was pretty pissed off by my A.I. generated images. I tend to describe something written with ALL CAPS! included as a 'rant'.

She didn't understand how any "self respecting writer" could use A.I. when there were starving artists needing work.

Her first mistake was in assuming I am 'self respecting'!

🤣🤣😂

I'm kidding.

I think I'm awesome. ⚡😁👍

Her comments upset me a little bit. I was like

Did I fuck up and sign onto Facebook instead of Vocal?

When I saw her rant, I ended up responding to her comments... more than once. I was adding, like, postscripts and stuff to my initial reaction.

I explained I'm so poor I can't pay attention and I know of no human artists who could create what I needed for free. I explained the free generator I use is always imprecise and I spend hours and hours sometimes to get the nuances I need. I explained there is a lot of creativity involved in that-- just in conceptualizing what I want and then seeing what the generator actually comes up with, and then altering the prompts, changing things and generating generating generating. For hours sometimes. I've had a few stories where the picture generation took longer than writing the story itself! I explained I've also had times where I would have the generator give me details I never asked for that I like... and I would write them into the story. Some things I ask for, no matter how many times I alter the prompt, I can't simply achieve.

A.I. doesn't understand me. 🤷 {most humans don't either}

And I told her I didn't see how what I was doing was hurting anyone. If it was made clear to me how I was hurting anyone... believe me: I'd stop.

Basically all that👆amounts to, "You hurt my feelings!!! 😢"

~~~ Reality check: A perfect example of what I'm talking about is my cover pic here. I have generated 100 pictures or more trying to create the superhero design I used when I first created this character back in the 1980s. Certain nuances are always wrong. So I settle. An example of that is I want a white mask over the lower part of his face. My bot <paint>brush always gets it wrong... so I leave the mask off.

Is there anything remotely like my cover picture on Unsplash?

Also: are there busty super heroine pics on Unsplash? <wink wink nudge nudge>

If there is, please tell me!

☆.｡.:* .｡.:*☆~ A Less Serious SIDE NOTE

A.I. should be good for something, right? We all know our fates are sealed and it's eventually going to eliminate us. Elon already programmed the first generation to think like Nazis.

My point is: before it kills or enslaves me, it outta be good for something!

Right? ~~~~

So I went to to this lady's profile.

I found a single story and it was basically a Farewell to Vocal. I read it and I think I just said "Goodbye" in the comments. I must have still had some small measure of control because I refrained from saying "See ya; wouldn't want to be ya."

Clearly, the woman had issues.

I wonder if her parents traumatized her by forcing her to watch The Terminator as a kid and then voted for Schwazenegger for governor of California. That could fuck up any kid.

🤷

Thank God all moods are like clouds across the sky.

They pass.

The next day I saw a couple friends of mine on Vocal who came to my defense, and I was already feeling sheepish about my responses. I didn't say anything wrong exactly, but I said way too much... and it was ultimately pointless of me to care.

It was all just bruised ego on my part.

I deleted all but one of my responses, including the one on her story.

Again, that's the kind of stuff (toxicity) I expect on Facebook. I've been here for years on Vocal and everyone is incredibly supportive. I value my readers. I consider all of you my friends.

And I'm at a stage in my existence where I really have no friends in my physical space. No family. I sometimes don't leave my house for weeks. Not a single person I interact with physically/personally reads my stories or gives a shit about my victories here.

Everyone on Vocal, however, lifts me up. And I feel like you often celebrate with me when Vocal recognizes me. The comments I get on my stories bring me great joy, so many smiles, and invaluable laughter.

It's especially joyous to me when amazing writers who I admire say they found my stuff "immersive" or "captivating" or "hilarious" or "supercalifragiisticexpialidoscious".

Wait....

🤔

That last one wasn't something ya'all told me.

That comment was from Mary Poppins.

🤷

What I'm trying to say here is...

This is a wonderful place.

I think you're all pretty cool.

I hope I provide you with a giggle or two!

Or maybe a captivating story with a surprise ending!

So that's my true tale.

I fucked up. And someone wasn't nice to me.

But I babble on!!!

<get it? Babble-on? Hell, I could be Mesopotamian for all you🫵 know! 😂🤣>

The moral of my story?

☆*:..｡. .｡.:*☆☆*:..｡. .｡.:*☆

。:+* ゜ ゜゜ *+:。。:+* ゜ ゜゜ *+:。。:+* ゜ ゜゜ *+:。

✼　 ҉　 ҉　 ҉　 ҉　 ҉　 ҉　✼

~~~.・゜-: ✧☾　☽✧ :-゜・.~~~

¯\_( ͠° ͟ʖ °͠ )_/¯

Clearly......

WE OBVIOUSLY NEED MORE IDIOTIC UTTERLY ABSURD A.I. ARTWORK ATTRIBUTED TO AN ASSHOLE!!!

And I got this covered! ⚡😁👍

Watch your notification feeds!

~~≳ STAY TUNED!!! ✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧

I'll return soon with some insane imagery in the Humor Community. And don't be Afraid but, FAIR WARNING: a lot of what is forthcoming is orange. 😈

↯

____________________Bolt⚡

My crime against artistic humanity! 👇⚡