The Emergency That Wasn't on the GPS

The Emergency That Wasn't on the GPS

One Car Ride, Two Cheeks, and No Dignity

By Joey Raines

Description:

It was supposed to be a calm Sunday night drive. Then came a sudden announcement that turned everything upside down. Between quick thinking, awkward suggestions, and a very unexpected street surprise, one couple finds themselves in the middle of a totally unplanned, completely hilarious adventure. This true story shows that love is sometimes tested in the most ridiculous and hilarious ways.

Please tap the ❤️ to show some love, hit subscribe to follow me for more, and if you feel like it, you can leave a tip, totally optional, but always appreciated.

The Emergency That Wasn't on the GPS

It started like any normal Sunday night drive. The windows were cracked just enough to let in the smell of early evening, SiriusXM was playing a pop song that we would never remember, and I was quietly wondering if we had enough milk at home. My wife was sitting calmly beside me, probably scrolling on her phone or just enjoying the ride. All was peaceful.

Then, out of nowhere, she said it.

"I gotta poop."

That was it. No buildup. No warning signs. Just three words that changed everything.

I looked over to see if she was joking. She was not. Her face looked like someone had just told her the internet was going to be down for a month. This was not a drill. This was not one of those "maybe later" bathroom thoughts. This was a situation.

Being the caring husband I am, I leapt into action. Problem-solving mode activated.

"Want to stop at the park?" I asked, joking of course, as I spotted a nearby place with public restrooms.

She slowly turned her head and gave me a look. Not just any look. This was the kind of look you give when someone suggests something so ridiculous it makes your brain stop working. Her eyes said, without any words, "Are you seriously telling me to poop in a place where birds build nests and raccoons probably hang out for fun?"

Trying to fix it, I offered another option.

"You can just go in the corner of the park bathroom if it's locked."

She sat straight up in her seat, back stiff, hands gripping her legs. Her voice was strong and clear.

"I will not."

It sounded like she was refusing to give in to an enemy army. But her body told another story. She was squeezing every muscle she had, sitting in a way that looked more like a statue than a person. It was like she was using her whole body to hold back a volcano that was ready to blow.

The car, which had been quiet and calm just a few minutes earlier, now felt like it was holding its breath. The energy had changed. This was no longer just a ride. This was survival.

And then the universe decided to add something extra.

A guy popped out of nowhere. He ran right across the street about thirty feet in front of us like he had just remembered he left the oven on.

I shouted and hit the brakes, but gently. I knew one thing. Slamming the brakes could send us straight into disaster. A sudden stop might have ended this car ride in a very messy and smelly way.

She screamed and grabbed the seat like we were on a rollercoaster. Her eyes were huge, and she stayed frozen in full poop-defense mode.

"Why did you do that?" she yelled.

That was it for me.

I started laughing. Not just a little. I laughed like someone had just told the funniest joke in the world. I had tears in my eyes, and I could barely see the road. The whole thing was just too much. A poop emergency, a surprise runner, a car that might explode from the inside. It was chaos.

She stayed mad for about seven seconds. Then she started laughing too. And not just polite laughing. It was real, honest, loud laughing. Because sometimes life gets so weird and ridiculous that laughing is all you can do.

We made it to a real bathroom in time. No disasters. No accidents. And even though the trip had gone completely off course, we came out of it stronger.

Some couples go out for fancy dinners. Some take beach vacations. But us? We survive poop emergencies and dodge random pedestrians. We laugh through the madness and find joy in the chaos.

And that is what may be true love.

Enjoyed the story? If this gave you a laugh or reminded you of your own wild car ride, I’d be honored if you’d tap the ❤️ to show some love, hit subscribe to follow me for more, and if you feel like it, you can leave a tip, totally optional, but always appreciated.

© 2025 Joey Raines. All rights reserved.