The Lion Meme 🦁👑

Hey there! 👋😁⚡

I'm _Lightning Bolt⚡ with another droll edition of Meme-ing Madness!

Since I'm a force of nature and a Top Contributor in the Humor Community, I assume no further introduction is necessary.

Before I get to the beasties, I must tell you what happened to me.

Not long ago, a very kind Vocalite urged me to keep producing comedy.

I was like, "Really?"

He said, "Yeah. It's needed in this dark world."

{...or something like that. I'm horrible with quotes.}

I've been thinking about that, because it perplexes me.

I've already produced, something like, twenty of these comedic shit pieces. And you people seem to want more?

That begs the question....

WHY?

I have developed several theories.

The one that immediately/naturally leaps to mind of course is the people requesting my crap are crazy. Wacky as wombats. Loony as a fruit loop mascot.

But that seems too obvious.

And it really doesn't fit.

The people who like my humor are people I admire-- Vocalites who can write with the best of them.

I hesitate to say those people are insane.

⚡

Another idea that leaps to mind is that this is a Sign foretelling the Apocalypse.

🤔

It could be the End of the World. I see what's going on in Washington.

Perhaps Satan, the Father of All Lies, has blurred people's vision and wreaked havoc on their good taste, to the extent that they think my comedy is dope... when it actually sucks ass.

I don't know. 🤷

I assume that I'm not the Anti-Christ because I can't find a 666 tattoo anywhere on my body.

I really don't think we're closing in on Armageddon just yet. That won't likely happen until Elon Musk takes total control of the government.

⚡

Then I thought that maybe I'm in the Twilight Zone.

But I haven't heard Rod Serling in a voiceover, so that theory is out.

⚡

Of course, it could be me that's coocoo. Maybe the shit I cough up actually does have merit.

I don't buy that either.

If I'm deranged, how do I write anything readable?

You see the contradiction there?

Wouldn't I just drool and peck the same key over and over and over on my keypadddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

Or wouldn't I stop writing altogether and just lay in bed watching something meaningful, like porn?

⚡

Every theory has holes in it.

Nothing makes sense to me.

All I know for certain is...

My loyal audience (and some random goats in Ireland) seem to want more of my silliness. And I aim to please!

⚡😁👍

So let's do this! This edition of Meme-ing Madness should be especially appealing to animal lovers!

As usual, I must start with a

__ W A R N I N G ____

What follows for your entertainment was gathered from jungles, mountains, swamps, kitchens, courtrooms (I think), disco bars (probably), an ocean or two, lakes, archeological sites, and all kinds of totally incongruent locations; it could cause vertigo or even Acrophobia. Unfortunately, no Taco Bells are represented, but rancid smells could still be emitted.

Any liquids seeping into your space is accidental.

Bad puns are assured!

A lion-sized pooper scooper would greatly benefit you, for more than one reason.

I'm not working especially hard with this episode because you bitches have come to expect too much from me. Back in the Day, I only provided a scant few memes with every episode. Then I started doing more. And then more. And then still more. With the story you are reading now, I'm scaling back on quality of this humor. That's what these warnings are all about: To Let You Know.

As always though, there is a 'hazard' that you could madly fall in love with me. It happens to the best of you. My advice is: don't fight it. Superheroes with charm like mine don't come along every day.

I do have a tight schedule, but we'll figure something out.

Parental Discretion Is Contradictory.

END of W A R NING

Now here's a little something to put you in the right mood for our vitual safari.

Let Furry Fun Commence!

{Reptiles and birds will also be included.}

⚡_______________⚡

We're about to rename a whole bunch of creatures. Here's an example of what I mean...

After these idiotic memes, I'll tell you the idiotic names that I would suggest for each animal. Of course, no one will care. I've already suggested 163 new words to Webster and not a single one appears in his book.

He calls that thing a 'dictionary'?

Unlike the asshole who made these memes, my renaming spree will be with single dramatic descriptive words for each creature.

A snake for instance? In my opinion we should call it a,

Flickertongue.

Yet another option would be

Slitherscale.

Like I said, the quality of these jokes is highly questionable.

⚡_______________⚡

#2- —

I call it an

Oreodor

⚡_______________⚡

#3- —

Our dogs always want more— more food, more outdoor time, more squirrels to chase, more intruders to bark at (corresponding with more doorbell rings), and most especially they want more attention/affection. Therefore, I think a good name for them would be....

Muttmorr

In this situation, I also think the original "dog" actually does work too, but it should be spelled "dawg".

⚡_______________⚡

#4- —

I say we call it a

Swampcleaner

These crocodile-wannabes get so much negative publicity for eating people, I wanted to give them a name that was more positive, to help with their self-esteem.

⚡_______________⚡

#5- —

Shelly.

I hear the guy-turtles have no problem with 'she' pronouns so they should be fine with this name.

⚡_______________⚡

#6- —

I hate to say it, but it's a

Wolfwannabe

I'll bet they'd prefer "Redwolf" though, since that name doesn't call attention to their size (and is easier to spell).

⚡_______________⚡

#7- —

"Trash panda" is so negative. Once again, despite the dangers these creatures pose, I want to keep it positive.

🤔🤔

🤔🤔🤔⚡

🤔🤔🤔🤔 ⚡⚡

This is tough.

🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

You know... I said at the top that I was keeping each renaming to a single word, but in this particular case, I'm making an exception. We should call these poor trash-eating mongrels

George Cooneys ('Jeecooz' for short)

That actor out in Hollywood may not like my suggestion but if this renaming is approved, he can just deal with it. It's not like he doesn't have millions of dollars to protect his mansions from raccoon invasions.

⚡_______________⚡

We Now Pause for this Quick but Important Reminder

This is basically me. ⚡😁👆 Kinda.

However, I actually do have an electric sense of humor; I'm funny as fuck. That alone makes me extremely attractive.

And you haven't even seen my ass. 🔥 🔥

Now...

....as far as me being intelligent or emotionally stable?

🤷⚡

Proceed at your own risk.

⚡_______________⚡

#8- —

'Hop Pocket' is actually pretty amusing, therefore cool. What I would call these Aussies, however, takes its entire family into consideration. Call it a

Marskippial

It could alternately be called a

Marsouppyleap

⚡_______________⚡

#9- —

Apologies.

That ⚡👆 actually doesn't qualify for this episode of Meme-ing Madness. I's not an animal.

- - - - - - -

That's Donald Trump's heart. 🖤

Did the temperature just drop in here? 😨

My bad.

⚡_______________⚡

#10- —

Now this⚡😁👆 is a creature that is entirely too arrogant. Do you think they don't know they are the "largest land animal on Earth"?

They know.

Just like they know their herds are kinda scary when they're lumbering around.

They're so loud! All that stomping, creating a kind of thunder (but not the good kind, like I create.) Their noses, their mouths, their asses-- all noisy as fuck.

Even their freakin ears make noise!

My renaming for them takes them down a peg, calling attention to a feature of theirs that isn't huge, or noisy.

We should call them...

Tinytails

Or maybe even

Beadyeyes

Let them live with one of those demeaning monikers for a few hundred years and see what that does to their evolution.

⚡_______________⚡

#11- —

I feel sorry for it. How can it even see?

Rename it...

Barberpleaz

⚡_______________⚡

#12- —

Take its feet for luck. It's an

Eeeeassssterbeeeeassst

Rabbits think they're so fucking cute!

They think they deserve colored eggs?

Hell no!

Calling them Eeeeassssterbeeeeasssts is the first step in reshaping their image so we can ultimately vote them out in favor of Easter Owls, or maybe even Easter Swans.

Imagine it...

Instead of making Easter baskets what it's all about, we can start setting up inflatable pools in our houses. Besides the swans in our Easter ponds, we could float little boats with Easter tacos on 'em. We could put leis around the swans' long white necks. We could strap knitted pouches on their backs with mild, hot, and fire packets. (Personally, I prefer Diablo sauce but I'm alright with saving that for Halloween.)

Doesn't that sound lovely?

Who uses swans as a mascot?

No one!

Bunnies need to butt out of our lives!

⚡_______________⚡

#13- —

WhatheFuckIsIt?!?

My best guess: It's a lawyer.

⚡_______________⚡

#14- —

Waterfoul

Take that, muther-honker!

⚡_______________⚡

#15- —

I think this is a sloth. But it's also greedy, gluttonous, prideful-- the works. And you don't even want to know what those claws are capable of doing when it's possessed with lust.

Basically, it's all seven sins with a fur & a smile.

Once again, I guess I gotta go with two words for the best description. It could be a

Tree Wolverine

But, in my opinion, all those sins embodied make the best name for it

Satan's Squirrel

Yet another option is

Clawtastic

You decide.

⚡_______________⚡

#17- —

I'll call it

Lionsub

The reason I call it that is because I entitled this story the "The Lion Meme." I did that because it sorta rhymes with the Lion King. But then I couldn't find any decent lion memes. There was this one....

I suppose that lame lion meme does qualify since I warned at the top that there would be bad puns.

But I also threw in that extra tiger imposter just to make certain I was covered.

As some great philosopher once said,

"Life is hard and then you get mauled."

⚡_______________⚡

#18- —

This is yet another animal in need of a lesson in humility. Sure, they have that fancy tail, but all they ever do is strut around showing it off. Let's call attention to the fact they are birds and yet, they...

Kanbarelyfly

{I changed the 'c' to a 'k' to make it more word-like.}

⚡_______________⚡

#19- —

All this horned quadruped does is run up hills. But you just know it would vacation on a savannah or grassland plain if it could. It's an

Anteslope

⚡_______________⚡

#20- —

Cooshitter

⚡_______________⚡

#21- —

Bears hibernate and sleep half their life away.

I suspect they may have mental health issues. When the days grow shorter in the wintertime, certain animals become prone to depression. Trust me, I know. I think bears should be renamed for what they are

Bearpolar

{{You'll find other hilarious bear memes here, in a Top Story of mine.}}

⚡_______________⚡

#22- —

I honestly can't think of a great name here. What leaps to mind is these creatures have long everything. Long necks. Long legs. Gotta have long intestines too. I bet they have fairly long tongues.

We could call them Longbirds, but they'd probably prefer Longfeather instead... maybe. I don't know. They live in Africa. Wouldn't Longfeather make them feel like they were American Indians?

I don't want to cause conflict between continents.

Longlegs, works. That's kind of sexy.

I want to make an observation about ostriches.

Currently, the price of eggs in America is outrageous. Ostriches have to produce gigantic eggs. Do you see the obvious connection here?

Why do we have this endless fascination with chickens in this country when there are clearly better alternatives?

⚡_______________⚡

#23- —

That's a

Quiller

It should come accompanied by Michael Jackson music.

⚡_______________⚡

Okay.

<whew>

That was a lot.

Do you feel like you've been to a zoo where the keepers are all drunk?

If so: Mission Accomplished!

And did you see what I did here? Some of these animals I've tried to raise up and others I've tried to lower a notch, based on their respective egos. I always strive for balance in my world.

Unless, of course, homo sapiens are having orgies, in which case Fuck Balance. I want it ALL.

We'll return to the regular sex memes with the next edition of this nonsense.

I most definitely will!

⚡_______________⚡

That's it, friends and psychiatrists!

No wild animals were hurt in the creation of this story. I did, however, eat chicken. Oh, the irony!

Until next time...

______________Bolt⚡

Original comedy☝️ by ©️William Markly O'Neal II, 2025 - All rights reserved⚡