The missing piece

I am trying to find something, but I do not know what it is. I feel like something is missing from my life. My soul is craving something deeper and it is making me feel empty inside. I feel like I am lacking passion within. How can you miss something you never had? I can not comprehend that and I want to so bad. I am trying to find something or anything to fill that void in my mind and heart. This temporary feeling does not last long, but I still need to figure out what I am searching for because I feel like I am drowning. I try to reach out to family and friends, but I do not know how to explain the feelings that are reoccurring in my life. My family express their concern; however, they explain to me that they can not help me because they do not know what I am looking for. I look ahead and I am met with a blurred vision. I cannot see anything even though I am blinking rapidly. I am wiping my eyes trying to clear my vision, but it is not working. I am filled with frustration because I can not clear my vision. I want to cry; however, no tears fall from my eyes. I look behind me and I see all the things that I have done in my life. I find a little satisfaction in my memories. They are a security blanket to me. I see all the good, bad, and ugly. All the mistakes and life lessons that I have made are staring me down. The stares are making it harder for me to breathe. The air in my lungs are finding it harder and harder to escape. Frantically, I look to my left and right trying to find something to help the air release. I feel like I am fading away. Everything around me is getting darker. A voice in my head is yelling at me, "Look ahead! Look ahead! Look ahead! LOOK AHEAD!" With the last little bit of energy, I turn my body slowly and I look ahead. The air in my lungs begin to escape my lips and my breathing is returning back to normal. I am walking forward, trying to clear my vision because I want to see what is ahead. As I begin to walk forward, I hear another voice. This voice was different from the last one. It is talking in a slow, deep voice. It is drawing my concentration and attention to it. The voice is calming my nerves. "Just look back because you know what is going to happen. It will not hurt you because you know the outcome of it. Turn back Shanice. Nothing good is ahead of you. You are not missing anything." The hope and curiosity of finding something that I am missing is helping me move forward. Currently, I am still moving forward and I still do not know what I am looking for. My vision is blurry, but I am not giving up. The best part of me is that even though I want to give up, I know that it is not the right thing to do. As I get closer and closer, the blurry vision clears up a little. Even though the unknown scares everything inside of me, I still want to move ahead and figure out what I am missing. This missing piece feels like a choke hold on me and I want to release that feeling. Once I figure out what I am missing, I will be happy. I know this because then will have reached the other side and will get the sense of a completed feeling.