10 Lessons I've Learned from Liars

You must be able to lie convincingly in order to have a successful career in politics. It's one of those skills that you just have to master if you want to get ahead, but it's not an easy skill set. How do you go about developing the ability and staying away from common mistakes? This article will provide 10 lessons I've learned from liars.

1. Remember that there are two types of lies: lies and damn lies.

A lie is a statement that is untrue and designed to deceive someone else. A damn lie is a statement that clearly is untrue, but is made specifically because it will deceive someone else. In politics, you need to handle both types of lies. It's no good if the leaders you send out are only OK at telling the truth, because the whole point of sending them out is so they can tell people things the leaders want people to believe.

So it's important for them to be good at both types of lies. However, in life outside politics, having too many damn lies might be a problem. It'll be hard to get promoted in a job where you have to deal with customers, and it might make it less likely that people will invite you to their parties.

2. Always tell the truth on your tax returns because the taxes are too damn high.

The difference between politics and regular life is especially clear when talking about taxes. In politics, telling people that taxes are too damn high is a good approach because there's nothing they can do about it, but usually in regular life they're going to be able to do something about it if they're mad at your damn lies. If you're not getting promoted in your job or invited to parties, there's a good chance this is why.

3. Remember that if you're a politician and you want to lie, make sure nobody's watching.

This photo is a pretty good example of what not to do. It's easy to see that the man in the center isn't telling the truth, but it's equally clear that he realizes this because he's turning away from the camera and trying to cover his mouth when lying. This sort of behavior can lead people to assume you're lying even when you aren't.

4. Learn how to lie with a straight face.

On the other hand, you can see in this photo that the woman on the left knows how to lie with a straight face. Her mouth isn't moving at all, which helps reduce any movement that might cause her words and actions to seem inconsistent. If you're going to be a politician, it's important to know how to lie with a straight face.

5. Don't treat your party the same way you'd treat any business.

You don't have to be in politics for very long before you realize that everyone in the party is in it because they want power and money or have some sort of personal ambition, not because they love your vision for America or fighting for the rights of their constituents. This means that if you want people to vote for you, don't lie as much as possible simply because it makes an impression on them, but also don't always tell the truth just because such honesty would make a good impression on them.

6. Be sure to have some damn lies ready for when you're under oath.

Lying under oath is a pretty serious offense, and yet it happens all the time. However, if you're testifying before Congress or a court of law, there's a good chance that some people are going to lie, so as long as you've prepared ahead of time with some damn lies ready to go should the need arise, then you'll be in pretty good shape.

7. Learn how to sound like your damn lies are true when you tell them over the phone.

It's important to make sure that the people you're talking to understand what your damn lies are about, but it's also important to sound like they're accurate when you're chatting over the phone so that it doesn't seem as if you're trying to trick them in some way. For example, in this photo, none of the men are lying at all, but they all sound like they know what they're talking about. Making sure your lies sound like they're true when you tell them might help avoid any misunderstandings or accusations of deception.

8. Don't overuse canned lines or rehearsed phrases just because people expect them from their politicians.

This is one of the most common mistakes you hear from politicians at press conferences, and it's easy to see that it's a mistake because the politician in this photo is trying to use his canned lines without any feeling or commitment. While it's true that people expect their politicians to tell them canned lines, no one likes to feel as though their elected official isn't really paying attention to what he or she is saying in an attempt to come across more convincing.

9. Remember that some lies are more obvious than others.

A good example of this is that for any given lie, it's easier to recognize when it's obvious and don't have to be told about than when you're dealing with something that might be a bit more subtle. For example, in politics, if you tell people that you fought for them and then say the exact opposite later on in the race or in office, then that can seem extremely obvious because everyone already knows what your campaign rhetoric was like and will easily see exactly what your real motivations were.

However, if one of the canned lines you use has been contradicted by your statements in debates or interviews prior to becoming a politician, then this might not be as clear unless people are really paying attention.

10. Get in good shape and make sure your breath doesn't smell.

This is pretty obvious, but if you're going to be on television talking to people, then it's probably a good idea to make sure you're in good shape and that your breath doesn't smell like anything. In this photo you can see that these candidates got the memo about making sure their breath doesn't smell, but one of them has clearly gone a little overboard with the whole working out thing and is going to have some trouble relaxing for debates or speeches.

The other guy has been going pretty heavy on the coffee, which might make it hard for him to concentrate during his campaign events or publicity appearances.

In Conclusion

It can be quite difficult to tell whether a politician is lying or trying to tell the truth, so if you're going to be someone who has to think of lies on a daily basis, it's probably best to know perfectly well what the easiest and most effective ways are for you to lie and stay away from anything that might seem obvious.

Needless to say, this means that politicians who claim they're telling the truth when they don't actually believe them might be fooling themselves because how could anyone tell? However, this doesn't really mean much because any politician will end up asserting that he's telling the truth as long as it makes him look good or helps him win votes.