7 Ways to Learn from Your Negative Thoughts

"The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled." ~ Plutarch

I remember when I first started learning about positive thinking. I had to look at my thoughts, and then I categorized them as “useful” and “useless.”

This made sense to me, and I was amazed at how many “useless” thoughts I had. Every day, I told myself that I was not good enough, that things would not work out, and that I was in danger of losing my job.

“It doesn't help, it doesn't help,” my mind kept repeating. And the thoughts went on. Why is this? Why did my good thinking not work?

I started to confess again. I made a list of everything I hated about myself, and then I read it again and again every day. I have repeated the same words over and over again. I watched YouTube videos with the messages below.

And then I called myself P.O.S. every day.

It was only when I started working with a therapist that I began to realize the importance of my “negative” thoughts. I told her about my screening process, and her response was, "That's fine, but you're missing out on some of the middle steps."

Those in the middle of the process involve looking at negative thoughts, questioning their effectiveness, and then reinterpreting them.

Instead of giving up part of my mind, I began to rely on it, to learn from it. Thoughts that I feel good about are just opportunities to redefine, change the truth as you know it, and help your mind suffer a little. When you know how to behave, they are gifts.

Here are some steps you can take to begin the process of preparation for mediation.

1. Look at (without judging) your feelings.

But then you feel good. Indeed, it is. Emotions are tools that get attention used by the mind to help you keep your thoughts. Be careful, especially, when you may not feel well. When do you experience fear, hopelessness, or anger?

2. Be aware of emotional thoughts.

Emotions are created by thoughts. You can achieve this by asking “Why?” Why are you afraid? Why do you feel hopeless? Why are you angry? Behind the scenes may indicate a misunderstanding of your mind, for any thought that creates an unpleasant feeling may be triggered by thoughts. And thinking can be redefined.

3. Call your two-year-old inner child.

And “why?” Ask again. Why do you think he did that? And why do you think that? What can you imagine? And to support that assumption? Who do you consider to be your authority? Question, question, question. Take a deep breath, and look at every aspect of that thinking. It can be helpful to type or write this down.

4. Look for “proof” of your beliefs.

The mind can only see evidence of what it already believes. So, what are the experiences, interviews, etc. What does your mind use to prove its “evil thought” is true? Write them down. Then ask why they are true. Are they reasonable?

5. Come up with more opportunities.

What other explanations are there? For example, if a coworker scolds you and thinks that you are lazy, what other reasons might there be? Could they be under stress at home? Stressed out at the end times? Write down as many other opportunities as you can.

6. Find evidence of at least one possibility.

Your mind unknowingly finds evidence of its prediction, and now you will fight the fire. Why should your definition be true? Show yourself!

7. Repeat.

Repetition of the way the mind learns. You will need to repeat this process, even if it seems to go hand in hand. And you will need to be different in words, as your mind brings it to you. Eventually, your unconscious mind will accept your explanations, and you will see the natural end of your evil thoughts.

For me, this process was life-changing. I began receiving medical treatment and lived in a four-bedroom house, working on a project that I had held for ten years.

I don't like this job. I didn't want to raise my daughter (with autism) in that school district, which would give her a little help. I did not want to retire from the city, where people used four-letter words in restaurants and young people pushed children in carts down the street.

So when I redefined my former beliefs, I realized that the limits I set for myself had disappeared.

I had always wanted to move to a warmer climate, but I wondered if I would be able to find a new job. So I tried. I pulled the right wires and got a Skype interview 1,300 miles away. The next day of the interview (which I considered as a failure) I got a job.

We took out our entire house, signed it, and returned it to the bank, taking whatever Volvo station carts with us to Houston. A year later, we moved on a small boat that was 15 feet [3.5 m] long. Our goal now is to sail fully in the next five years.

In the meantime, we enjoy our marina life, which is a cohesive community that will always be “home” to us. And I'm not afraid to try new things, take risks and see what my strengths are.

What is the nature of our story? Do not let your thoughts and fears paralyze you. They may seem like the truth of the gospel, but there is really nothing. Everything you think, everything you hear, is for questioning. If it doesn't make sense to your mind, it can be redefined.

Had my beliefs and fears been eroded, I would still be living in that house. Instead, I am free to explore the world, and rename the "American dream" the way my family sees fit.

I have learned that I am more than those fears that kept me in that job for ten years, and my life has more than that house and property that we thought was "ours."