A Beautiful Thing Is Never Perfect

My Love Story Is Tragic, Filled With Hurt Feelings And Scars That Will Never Heal..

At times I feel like I was born from poison. Destroying everything I touch. Every relationship, Every prized possession and any and everything I remotely cared about. There’s nothing left for me to care about. Because everything is simply.. poisoned.

I tend to wonder what it would be like to live a normal life. To have both parents. To have A loving and supporting family. To not have depression and to not be stepped on and spit at every second of every day. I wonder what it would be like to actually be good at something. It seems the only things I’m capable of nowadays is wishing and wondering what it would be like if I had the things that I lack. And I don’t find this to be a very good hobby, I never have.

I wonder about the future, simply if I'll have one. Or I wonder if I will be six feet under because of all these wonders that I do have.

wonders are supposed to be wonderful. Just how beauty’s are beautiful and glory’s are glorious. So how have I allowed my head to get so in depth into my thoughts to turn such positive, nice things into weapons of mass destruction. Sometimes I think to myself that things could be worse, indeed they could be. Just to trick my mind into making me feel a little better. but then my mind takes control, and I'm left slowly gripping onto the little positive feeling I have left before it is gone. And then my blackened mind also reminds me, things could be a lot better too.

Wishing is wondering best friend. Every time one is there, the other follows close behind. They have similarities but just like us all they have differences as well.

I wish I had a normal life. I wish I had a supporting and loving family. I wish I wasn’t sad all the time and I wish I wasn’t used like a wrinkly tissue on a cold day. Wishes and wonders are supposed to keep up whole, what keeps us going. Wishes and wonders are supposed to be that little push to help us grow and carry on with our lives. But what happens when they only hold us back. What are we supposed to do when our heads have unrealistic expectations? When you know what you want is unreachable. They say you can do anything you put your mind to. But that's simply not true.

There are concepts we can't grab, objectives that can’t be filled.

Situations that can’t be fulfilled and elements that just seem impossible.

But we are only human. And humans have imperfections. We are not supposed to immediately grasp the situations we wish we could. We are not supposed to immediately have everything at our fingertips. We are not supposed to walk through life easily

and we are not supposed to be perfect.