A Letter To The Striving

To my fellow Americans- whose constant striving and consequential inadequacy renders them bereft of joy and in need of a virtuous yet effective solution.

In my experience, humility is the most distinguishably powerful virtue, yet the most widely neglected. In a country that prides itself on individual achievement and autonomy, humility is seen as a detriment rather than an asset, a sign of weakness rather than a display of strength. I believe this stems from two things: an unmanaged level of pride and a misguided set of motivations - both individually and as a nation.

The first is rather ironically simple- a lack of humility is a result of overabundant pride. Pride is the evil that cleaves relationships, the pitfall that decimates a reputation, the entanglement that keeps us from seeking help. Those who believe they are well won’t seek a doctor. Pride is a dangerous trademark- hard to notice in ourselves and even harder to get rid of. Pride twists itself into our words, our actions, and even our thoughts until we no longer recognize it. We want to prove to the world that we are independent, we are capable, we are powerful, we are all we need- but in the end all this does is poison our joy. We believe that if we can convince everyone of our hard working spirit, success, and resulting happiness, we will be happy. But it hasn’t worked and never will. In fact, this unyielding pride becomes a burden rather than an assurance. When we try to believe we are enough but we fundamentally cannot be, we are doomed to feel the weight, the shame, and the frustration of inadequacy. So rather than encourage you to continue striving for an impossible state of being, I’m urging you to let go, to admit that you aren’t enough and realize you never had to be.

The second force goes further than ourselves as individuals. America as a nation contains a set standard of fulfillment, one that includes wealth, status, and hard-earned respect. Humility promises the same fulfillment, but with a different motivation. When humility is your vehicle, you are equipped to form lasting relationships, mend broken ones, and create new and gratifying ones. You hold the power to gain trust, continue exploring, and admit to your shortcomings. With these attributes rather than those which accompany pride, you will find fulfillment regardless of your endpoint, exceeding the short-lived joy of recognition and power. A leader who places themselves in the midst of their team is an esteemed leader. A teacher who believes they have yet to discover is the most effective. An employee who admits to his shortcomings and pursues remediation is a trusted coworker. Those characterized with humility are worthy of praise, but it is not their motivation. In this way, they find joy regardless of what they deserve and may or may not receive.

This moral belief dates back to First Century Rome, where it is presented as a paradox: the one who humbles himself will be lifted up. And yes- while a prominent sense of self-confidence drives us to move forward, take risks, and pursue challenges, a prominent sense of humility goes deeper, prompting us to move forward in love, take risks with account of how it will affect those around us, and pursue challenges that bolster our character over our personal achievement. When we learn to manage our pride, we are gifted the opportunity to extend ourselves in ways that will bless our lives and the lives of those around us. And this is not to say we must bury ourselves in guilt in order to live prosperously; humility is not a means for self-loathing, but self-awareness. When we view ourselves with clear eyes we are able to see our downfalls, but we also consider our potential for growth.

Humility takes submission- to authority, to responsibility, to commitment, to inconvenience, to sacrifice. It takes time and a certain willingness. It requires one to step back from the desires and motivations of the world around them, to cultivate a proper level of pride in their character. Humility is not sought after for the sake of bolstering oneself, but acquired through careful consideration of what is dutiful and what is meaningful. And while living a life of humility cannot promise what the material world vows to render, it assures a lasting joy and quiet prosperity no measure of striving can provide.

Sofia Hadley