How I Turned Trauma into a Superpower (And Told Half the People I Knew to Fu@k Off

It started with a lung condition. Not love, not heartbreak. Not a spiritual awakening. Nope—just me, wheezing like a 90-year-old ex-smoker in a wind tunnel. Cute, right?

Doctor said it might be stress. My lungs, apparently, were sick of my sh*t before I was. They sent me to a trauma counsellor. I thought I was there to cry. Instead, the counsellor asked:

"How the hell are you so positive after everything you’ve been through?"

And that’s when it hit me: Maybe I should write this sh*t down.

The Chaos & Transformation

Let me rewind.

I’ve been bullied, betrayed, cheated on, and emotionally roundhouse kicked by people I genuinely loved. Parents? Toxic. School? Hell. Relationships? Like dating human-shaped landmines.

But I didn’t break. I didn’t turn bitter. I didn’t throw myself into a vat of ice cream and Netflix (okay, maybe once, but it was therapy). Instead, I developed the magical ability to say:

“No, Brenda, I will not be attending your passive-aggressive family BBQ where your mum calls me a failure between servings of undercooked chicken.”

I stopped trying to explain myself to people who weren’t even listening. I stopped seeking closure from people who were emotionally bankrupt. And I started saying “fu@k off” with the grace of a queen and the precision of a ninja.

Lessons Masquerading as Laughs (With Actual Takeaways):

Here’s what I learned while surviving the human equivalent of a flaming obstacle course:

• Toxic people don’t deserve explanations. They deserve distance.
• Closure is a scam. Most people don’t change. They just get better at being manipulative.
• You don’t need to “go back” to the old you. That version of you tolerated way too much sh*t.
• If they don’t clap when you win, let them sit in silence while you rise.
• Victimhood is cosy, but victory is so much f*cking better.

The Moment Everything Changed (And I Became a Professional Boundary Setter):

The day I stopped feeling bad for saying "no" was the day I felt free.

I started treating peace like my phone battery—protecting it at all costs. I celebrated my survival like it was a holiday. I started looking in the mirror and saying things like:

“You, my love, are a goddamn masterpiece stitched together with sarcasm, trauma, and unstoppable resilience.”

Closing That Hits Like a Mic Drop:

So, if life has sucker-punched you one too many times, hear this:

You don’t need to fix the people who hurt you.

You don’t need to stay broken just because they expected you to be.

You don’t need permission to heal.

And you sure as hell don’t need to be polite about protecting your energy.

Say fu@k off with love.

Say yes to yourself.

Then go celebrate the fact that you f*cking made it.

P.S. I wrote this because I know what it feels like to carry pain like a second skin. To smile on the outside while silently crumbling. To wonder if you’ll ever feel truly okay again. If you’re reading this and it hit home—just know, you’re not alone. You’re a badass in progress. Keep going.

You don’t need to have it all figured out to be healing. You don’t need to be positive all the time to be powerful. And you don’t need anyone’s permission to choose yourself, walk away, or start over. There’s strength in your survival. And there’s magic in your comeback.

You’ve got this. I promise.

And if not today? Then try again tomorrow—preferably after coffee. Or wine.

No judgement.

If this made you laugh, cry, or finally delete your ex’s number—congrats, you're healing. Hit that or leave a comment. I read them between therapy sessions and cups of coffee I can't afford.