Life A Series of Would Have, Could Have and Oh Well

Over the years, I have learned many things about life, and one of those things is that had I listened to my inner voice long ago, my path may have been very different. One might be thinking right now, Would it have been good or bad for you? Well, I have found that if I look back, it would have tipped the scale much further towards good. Had I listened to that inner voice or spirit, as I call it, a gut intuition to others, many things in my life would have been more in line with the things that make me smile today.

I have been practicing listening to that inner voice for several years now .and , I have found that my choices and decisions lead to positive changes and energy in my life and soul. This realization has been life-changing for me, and I have since begun to share it with friends and even strangers, believing it could improve their lives if they felt they needed change or were unhappy with certain aspects of life.

So often, we hear someone say, "I wish I had," "I could have," or "I should have," followed by the resigned "Oh well." I have always told myself and others not to look back too often, as what lies ahead matters. I live by that motto and constantly encourage others to do the same. It's not about the 'could haves' or 'should haves,' but about the 'can be' and 'will be 'that lie ahead.

For example, I will refer to someone in my life as "Ole" for the sake of this writing. Ole and I spend much time together and often use each other as sounding boards over tea. One day, after a long and exhausting day at work, he reflected on life and how he got to where he was. He said, "If I had never stopped to pick her up that day when she was walking and had just driven by, my life would have been so different." When I asked why he stopped, he responded, "I don't know. Something told me to drive right past, but I stopped and gave her a ride." That fateful ride changed his life forever. You see, he ended up marrying the person his inner voice had advised him to drive by that day, and their relationship soon became a downward spiral of "would haves," "should haves," "could haves," and ultimately "oh wells." He found himself divorced after years of sadness and turmoil, all from a relationship that, deep down, he knew wasn't meant for him because he failed to listen to that inner voice.

For about three years, outside influences prevented him from recognizing his inner voice—the voice of reason that knows him best. He often felt the urge to leave, but did not because he thought others would judge him as horrible. "Everyone," the outside influence, versus "I just knew," his inner voice. We discussed his life choices for a long while. We repeatedly realized that with every decision he made, which did not align with his inner voice, he ventured further down a path he wasn't meant to follow. Ole could have lived a vastly different life filled with joy, happiness, and less stress. He could have achieved everything he wanted had he listened to his inner voice.

This scenario is not unique to Ole; I have heard similar stories from many people throughout the years. When I ask them if they recognize their inner voice, they often respond, "I guess so. Isn't that called intuition?" My answer is always the same: Some call it the voice of reason; others call it God's voice. I refer to it as universal energy or spirit speaking to me. I believe that spirit has communicated with me for most of my life. From a young age, it began in dreams and progressed to hearing that inner voice guiding me in various situations. Sometimes, when I felt compelled to go somewhere, a strong feeling would tell me, "Don't go," or I would experience a sense of dread when meeting someone new. That feeling of dread was really my inner voice signaling to me. The more I did it, the more often I found that my choices and decisions brought positive changes and energy to my life and soul. And as I realized how life-changing this was for me, I began to share it with friends and sometimes total strangers because I felt it could change others' lives if they felt they needed change or were unhappy with things in life. So often, we hear someone say I wish I had, I could have, or I should have, but oh well. I have always told myself and others to look back too often because what is to come, what is in front of you, matters. I stand by that motto and live my life that way. Still, I am forever encountering others who must be spending far too much time looking back because they use the phrases on which I am basing this writing. So often, someone will say to me Oh, I wish I had done that, or I should have never done that because had I not, I could have been somewhere so different right now; oh well! I will use someone in my life as an example without sharing their personal information, so I will call them Ole for the sake of this read. Ole and I spend a lot of time together, and often, we use each other as sounding boards for different things. Or, over a cup of tea, we share our thoughts. For the sake of helping you to see what I mean about life being a series of would haves, could haves, should haves, and oh well, I am going to share a bit about one of our moments sharing our thoughts. Ole had a long day at work and was tired. He had to deal with the ups and downs that almost everyone does at their jobs, and he contemplated life, where he was, and how he got there. And he said that my life would have been so different if I had never stopped to pick her up that day, that she was walking and just driven by. I asked why he stopped, and he said I don't know. Something told me to drive right by, but I stopped and gave her a ride. Well, that fateful ride changed his life forever. You see, he married this person that his inner voice told him to drive by that day, and from that forward, their relationship was a downward spiral of would haves, should haves, could haves, and finally, oh well. He ended up divorced after years of sadness and turmoil in a relationship that failed, and the funny thing was he knew from that day that she was not meant for him, but he did not listen to that inner voice. Something else, some outside influence that day, made him stop, and outside influences continued to keep him from listening to his own inner voice, the voice of reason, the voice that knew him best for about three years of his life, and some of those circumstances affected his life for years to come. He said he wanted to leave many times, but he did not. I asked him how did you know you wanted to leave, and his response was I don't know, I just knew, but I felt that I had to stay because if I left, everyone would say I was a horrible person. "Everyone," the outside influence, "I just knew," his inner voice. We talked for a long while about his life and the paths he took, and over and over, we both realized that every choice he made was not the one that his inner voice told him to choose, with every choice that he second-guessed himself it led him deeper and deeper into a journey further and further down a path he was not meant to follow. Ole could have lived such a different life. A life filled with so much more joy and happiness, so much less stress, and he could have had everything he ever wanted in life had he listened to his inner voice. This is the same scenario I have heard from many people I have spoken to over the years. When I ask them if they know about their inner voice, they say I guess so, Isn't that called intuition? My answer is always the same. Some call it the voice of reason; others call it God's voice. I call it the universal energy or spirit speaking to me. I believe that spirit has spoken to me for most of my life from a young age. It began in dreams and progressed to hearing that inner voice telling me different things. Sometimes, I would be going somewhere and feel like I did not want to go, and it was not just a thought. It was a powerful feeling, as if I was being told "Don't go," or a feeling of dread would come over me when I met someone. That dread was my inner voice telling me this person was not meant to be in my life. Still, like many of us I ignored it and found reasons why I should go or why I should say hello and chat with someone and what were those reasons they were all based on what I was taught by outside influences like be polite, don't judge, its ok its only for a few hours or maybe everyone else does it so why not try. In ending, I want to address anyone questioning their life choices if they read this. I can not tell you what to do or what choices to make or if they are the right or wrong ones, but what I can say is that there is beauty in believing in oneself, in loving who you are, and knowing that no one matters more than "You" when it comes to choices that you make because when you are following the path you are meant to the path you feel is right then usually everything else falls into place along your journey or at least it seems to for me. I have found that second-guessing myself always seems to take me to a place I am not meant to be.

Let me share an example of one of the times that someone I had taught to always listen to their inner voice did and the miracle that came out of it in more ways than one. I had a cat that I loved dearly. He came to me as a rescue and was always at my side. I can't recall a night when the moment I laid my head down on my pillow to rest, he was not there with his head on my shoulder, purring and putting all the events of the day in the back of my mind and bringing peace to my soul. He was there for me for so many things in life. The death of my sister, my dad, and my mother. He was there when I felt there was no hope, and I was filled with happiness for the days. Well, one evening, when I went to relax, not go to sleep but just call it a day, he was not there, and I thought that was odd. Yes, my first thought was something was wrong, and I went with that inner voice telling me something was wrong. I began to call for him, but he did not come to me, so I went outside to look for him because that voice told me to go out and look. It was dusk, and the coyotes were running all over the desert landscape, which was our yard. I was in a panic, thinking they would get him.

As I ran around looking for him crying, I just knelt down sobbing, thinking the worst, and as I did, I saw a coyote run by with something in its mouth, and all I could do was think it was him and he was gone. I had all but given up after an hour of looking for him, and my husband said I'm going to go look up the road. A dirt road next to our home led into the desert, and he had watched us walk many times through the windows. Something told my husband that he should go down that road, and he did, and there he found him face to face with a coyote, unaware of the danger because he had been raised by a dog as a stray. He nursed from her, and she raised him as her own, making him the most special cat anyone could have ever had. My husband yelled at the coyote, and it startled him enough to give my husband the chance to grab him and bring him home. So you see, Ole paid attention to his inner voice when I was too distraught to, and the ending was a good one.

So my message to anyone reading this little story is to listen to your inner voice if you are inclined to, and do not allow outside influences to guide you if you are not inclined to, because it may positively change your path.