Worrying Will Only Make You Unhappy, Try Acting with Worry Instead.

To be honest, adulting is hard. As graduation day approaches, my transition from student life to potential employment in less than only a month feels unreal. I know this is normal and by the way, before I even elaborate further on this. Let me tell a short story of mine back in high school

I remember back in 9th grade, we had a seminar about achieving your dreams and building a career. There was this one line that the guest speaker asked everyone including me. “Does anyone want a life that is easy?” As expected, plenty of hands shot up to this question. Preceded by a follow-up: “Does anyone here want life to be hard?” Being the oddball, I raised my right hand on this one. Okay, maybe I wasn’t too much of an oddball because they just asked and I did and I already knew at the time that life is hard no matter what I do or anyone does. The speaker then, of course, rejected the notion that life is easy. Again, as the oddball I was, I thought at the time, “Well, why ask a question this obvious?” Okay, maybe I really was an oddball. I understand the whole point of the guest speaker is to set realistic expectations. Having hundreds of 16-year-olds in one auditorium, I guess you could use that sort of “tactic” to elicit responses — I agree they made it interactive and the speaker talked fun.

The point of having a hard life is that we won’t appreciate what living is like if we don’t face the hardships. The best about coming out of a difficult situation is overcoming it. Another important discovery is understanding yourself much better than before —making meaning out of the experience that made you better as a person.

9 months ago, when I turned 22, my Mom passed away. No one even saw it coming, not even Mom. She was young, Dad was too, and she wasn’t sick either. Her lifestyle sometimes consisted of activities that gave her reason for being — like singing in a choir, conversing with a circle of friends, and belonging to a spiritual group. She advocated for a good lifestyle like getting complete hours of sleep, eating the proper food, getting your body moving every day…

Yet, there are loads amount of people around that smoke, consume plenty of alcohol, get into fights, or get overthrown by stress — still alive.

I was the closest person to my Mom. Basically, everywhere she went, I would follow along. I didn’t have any siblings nor did I wanted at the time I was younger. I was the introverted type of kid, so I didn’t have the natural social skills that other kids my age had. She would bring me to her communities to expose me to experiences that brought her reason for being.

Now, having experienced pain and longing for my late Mom, I begin to ask myself:

What else am I scared about? With adulting, looking for a job… What else should I be afraid of, when it happened already?

Even after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder in the year 2021, my psychologist and psychiatrist said that I’m vulnerable to stress and the school must promptly advise a specialized program or curriculum for my well-being, signed by them and all the professors in a medical certificate, etc., etc. — I was able to rise from the challenges that life has thrown at me. I have endured pretty well through this journey.

So, what exactly do I have to be scared about? People don’t care as much as think they do most of the time. It’s clear we don’t have all the time in the world, so why care about somebody they just saw on the internet?

As much as I loathe trying to contact people for a job because I dread exposure. I know I shouldn’t settle for less. I was tired of feeling unconfident in my skills yet, I should know better by now how good I am through the years.

In an internship I had the past month, I was allowed an opportunity to create something from scratch and it was supported by an existing foundation of people with power. Even if I was working behind the scenes, I felt like I had a positive difference to make in the community. For all these years of needing something I never knew had to be done, I felt intensely self-actualized.

Of course, I had to do self-management work. Building a skill and accomplishing a goal of someone else’s business is not to be taken lightly. To make the dream work we had to build a team work. I wouldn’t let my possible clients or employer pay the price for something that didn’t go well or that wasn’t valuable, at least. I want to live up to my standards and continue to want to improve myself all the time.

Like imagine, this was how determined I was to live a new life after my Mom left. There’s simply nothing else in my life right now to stop risking about, other than my own life.

This one goes to everyone who doubts themselves, I’m sure whatever life has thrown at you, has made you far because you’re reading this now and I know you’re awesome. What even is the point in doubting ourselves when the best person we can consult about our decisions is none other than ourselves? Learn to trust that you know what you’re doing because you’re the one doing it. Not anyone else, but YOU — through your own experiences, your failures, your strengths, you all know that.

Sure, set yourself a limitation because it’s still important to set a boundary behind the screen. But, don’t fear trying. The result will only matter once some act has been done. There’s something about embracing the fear that kicks in the adrenaline in us. That’s how things always go. That’s how we also learn what not to do and what to improve on next.

You can do a bit of doing the action first before thinking about it thoroughly — some of the best lessons that I’m sure you’ll remember happen that way.