A horse, a fleeting flighty thought, wary, ready to
Bolt, buck. Be ready. He's
Champing, tail swishing, all that potential under the skin
Don't approach head on; don't look him in the mouth
Easy fella, easy
Flanks twitch, the plot shifts
Gently now, he's giving you side-eye (will that character work?)
Hand on bridle, his head thrown up, hold him steady, he mustn't run - yet
Inch round, ideas percolate
Just ease yourself onto his back, feel the tale thrum under you and in you
Knees whisper against his sides, nudge the yarn
Little bit is enough,
Muscles bunch, plot thickens, characters materialise
Need to be ready, he could careen
Off at any moment
Prancing, pawing the ground. Is your pen ready?
Quick reflexes needed, but he might also
Refuse to go. Be firm but
Steer him with a light hand, see where he takes you
Trust the beast, give him his head
Unexpected directions are a boon, not a
Vice, so be easy when you are tempted to
Wrestle with him; remember the wisdom of
Xenophon and don't annoy him, instead say
Yes and be thankful for his fire, especially if the bit between his teeth is
Zeitgeist
~o~
Thank you for reading!
I normally have a post limit of two, but this challenge is closing soon so I decided not to chance it!
About the Creator
L.C. Schäfer
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I'm not a writer! I've just had too much coffee!
Sometimes writes under S.E.Holz
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By Nicky Frankly4 days ago in Fiction
Comments (15)
I really love your writing style!
Love the metaphor, and it works brilliantly in places like “Steer him with a light hand, see where he takes you”. Very original 👏
Superb! Trust the beast indeed. A stunning metaphor delivered with eloquence and insight. I loved this and place it among my most helpful craft essays 🥰
X fo Xenopon! Nice! I do not remember in this case what he may have said regarding horses. What was it? Well-wrought!
How fun! And here we started thinking it was just a horse. 😅 lovely job, and clever take on the challenge!
You take an idea on with such laser focus that you bend a supremely recalcitrant poetic form to your will, all while making it look easy. Every line snapped with the seasoned confidence of a wily and experienced trainer breaking a horse. Metaphors roll over on their backs like puppies to beg for your belly rubs. Wonderful work all the way to the perfect, final word.
oh those lovely wild horses. Love their free spiritedness. Let us tame that beast. I post when inspired, listening to my inner muse. Trying to do less, but there are man WIP.
I like the morphing of themes. A twitchy thoroughbred and an emerging story. Tread carefully, don't spook him. give him his head and see where he takes you.
Very powerful beautiful poem!
Challenges are an exception. You can break your rule of 2 posts a day for that. Loved your poem!
I absolutely love this, L.C. And when you turned from the heavily laden horse metaphor with the homonym "tale", catching our notice that the "tail" we were expecting has become the "tale" that is emerging--pure genius.
Zeitgeist was an interesting ending. May I only point out that maybe "hoofing" at the ground instead of "pawing"?
Fabulous!!! Your poem was fabulous!!!❤️❤️💕
This is fantastic!
Whoa, horsey horsey. That would be me. Great job on this one.