Am I Too Far Gone?

The house was burning, no one escaped the same as before.

Another fire, another burning, and another broken heart.

How many times can a heart break?

And still, come back from the ashes?

She blows out the match and she smiles.

This comeback will be the most personal, excruciating, and exhilarating experience.

For almost two years, she breaks multiple times but each time she finds another piece of herself that she lost.

Fragments in the ashes, glass shards that she puts back together like a puzzle.

She still thinks she's missing something though.

Someone to love her, cherish her.

But they're all so needy.

Needy, like her.

Everyone needs something, someone to fill that hole.

She has learned over the years to fill that hole herself.

No one else knows how.

Sometimes she still falls down that hole.

But only she knows what that little girl inside her truly needs.

He is so nice, kind, and simple.

Can he navigate her ups and downs though?

It's a complicated balance.

It's a dance with the devil.

They all want something.

She's learned this well.

Her body, her care, they want a mama and a lover.

Head spinning, should we call it quits now?

What if all relationships end in disaster?

Shouldn't we say goodbye now and save ourselves?

I can't take another heartbreak...promised myself I wouldn't start another fire.

But my mind is a constant fire and I know myself. Finally.

Scared to lose that again, after climbing through the ashes again.

We must keep it safe, keep it guarded. The little girl whispers over and over.

Time has been a cruel mistress, and has taught me that I can only truly rely on myself.

Somedays I don't even know what the little girl inside me needs.

I wonder, Am I too far gone?