Control

Sometimes I feel at sea mentally

Like I am both on and off an already sinking ship

The anchors broke and sank into the sea

Now I am floating, i mean, not really

I have always tried to be in control

To always be in charge of the wants of my soul

To always be in control of when it rains or snows

To always think for me and everyone I have close

And now, I am dealing with nightmares alone

Emotions fully paid and some bought on loan

Big guy needs to come down from that throne

Because this knight is broken from all he's had to atone

Always tried my way and it has all been futile

I know I am stubborn and I know you try

But i am tired of waking up to unconscious tears

Crying from panic attacks and nightmares

I brought my past into this ship hence it sinks

I feel everything, the hate, the disgust and self loathing

I don't want to think I control what my future holds

Protect my heart and heal it, before it gets too cold

Take the control from me