Dear Witch of Wall Street

My dear Henrietta,

I hope that wherever you are, you are a happy woman, at least a lot happier than you were when you were alive.

Mean, mean Hetty Green!

So obviously a very brilliant woman to have amassed such a great fortune. I am just curious to know why you never lived like a diva and enjoyed the fruits of your labor.

Oh, for those who will ever read this letter and understand the contents. I will have to tell you a bit about the life of Ms. Henrietta.

Did the story 'A Christmas carol' somehow have an influence on your behavior, Henrietta. Were you the female version of Scrooge in the time which you lived?

On December 19, 1843, Charles Dickens ’ classic story “A Christmas Carol” was published. Henrietta, you were maybe eight or nine years old at the time.

Henrietta (Hetty) Howland Robinson, born on November 21, 1834, An American businesswoman and Financier known as the richest woman in America during the Gilded Age.

Hetty was nicknamed 'The Witch of Wallstreet'.

You were named by the Guinness Book of World Records as the greatest miser. Despite your wealth, you were a renowned cheapskate, refusing to buy expensive clothes or pay for hot water.

You wore a single dress which was only replaced when it had worn out. You amassed a fortune as a financier at a time when nearly all financiers were men.

Henrietta was born in New Bedford, Mass., the daughter of Edward Moss Robinson and Abby Howland, the richest Whaling family in the city.

Her family members were Quakers who owned a large whaling fleet and also profited from the China trade.

I wonder what kind of man your husband was Henrietta. He must have had the patience of Job and the heart of a lion.

On July 11, 1867, at the age of 33, Hetty married Edward Henry Green.

You made him renounce all rights to your money before the wedding. The couple moved to his home in Manhattan.

When your cousins tried to have you indicted for forgery based on the Robinson v Mandell decision, the family moved overseas to London, where they lived in the Langham Hotel.

Your two children Edward Howland Robinson Green (called Ned) and Harriet Sylvia Ann Howland Green Wilks (called Sylvia) were born in London.

The Howland will forgery trial (Robinson v. Mandell) was a U.S. court case in 1868 where businesswoman Henrietta "Hetty" Howland Robinson, who would later become the richest woman in America, contested the validity of the will of her grandaunt, Sylvia Ann Howland.

According to Howland's will, half of her $2 million estate (equivalent to $35,404,000 in 2021) would go to various charities and entities, the rest would be in a trust for Robinson.

Robinson challenged the will's validity by producing an earlier will that left the entire estate to Hetty, and which included a clause invalidating any subsequent wills.[1]: 68, 81–88, 102 .

The case was ultimately decided against Robinson after the court ruled that the clause invalidating future wills and Sylvia's signature to it were forgeries.

Benjamin Peirce then took the stand and asserted that, given the independence of each downstroke, the probability that all 30 downstrokes should coincide in two genuine signatures was

1

2.666

×

10

21

\textstyle\frac{1}{2.666 \times 10^{21}}. That is one in 2,666,000,000,000,000,000,000, in the order of magnitude of sextillions. He went on to observe:

That, mathematically, "So vast improbability is practically an impossibility. Such evanescent shadows of probability cannot belong to actual life. They are unimaginably less than those least things which the law cares not for. ... The coincidence which has occurred here must have had its origin in an intention to produce it. It is utterly repugnant to sound reason to attribute this coincidence to any cause but design".

The court ruled that Robinson's testimony in support of Howland's signature was inadmissible.

You were a party to the will, thus having a conflict of interest. The statistical evidence was not called upon in judgment.

The case is one of a series of attempts to introduce mathematical reasoning into the courts. People v. Collins is a more recent example.

It is famous for the forensic use of mathematics by Benjamin Peirce as an expert witness.

Despite your great fortune Henrietta, you couldn't find it in your heart to add another million to your bounty, and allow others to benefit from the other million.

What would you have done with it. Lock it away with your other millions while others lived in need. Shame on you Hetty!

You lived a completely frugal lifestyle. Was this great amassing of money, fortune and fame, infamy really, about retaining power in a predominantly male world or were you just an all our miser?

Hopefully your children benefitted and prospered from your Ah!...prudence.

Regretfully yours,

A really sad reader. (What I could have done with your money today). Sigh!

................................................

What did you say from down through the centuries. What would I have done? You ask.

Why, I would have given every penny to charity, just to spite you and watch you squirm.

Poor, poor Hetty Green. R.I.P love!