How to Keep Yourself From Feeling

Start smaller

than you think

you should;

don’t disappear

all at once.

Just postpone

your initial reaction.

*

When a feeling

comes knocking,

tell it you’re busy.

You don’t have

to slam the door

in its face;

politeness

works better

than aggression.

Say not now,

come back later.

Later can be a

powerful word

when you mean it.

*

Keep your days

full of harmless

noise, a soothing

distraction.

ASMR playing

while you cook.

Run shows you

don’t care about

on your TV as

background noise

to fill the silence.

Play music that

keeps you collected,

unbothered, and away

from the emotions you

don’t want to consume you.

*

Because silence

invites questions.

Noise keeps

you distracted.

*

If someone notices

you are behaving

different because of

your avoidance,

dismiss it with an

“I’m fine”; this is a

problem for you

and you alone.

It is for you

to deal with.

If things go wrong,

then, you may

invite them on

your secret mission.

*

Learn which thoughts

lead places

you don’t want

to go

and gently turn around

before you arrive

there.

This takes

practice, of course.

You’ll feel

a tug,

something trying

to pull you

that way;

don’t get curious,

don’t get distracted,

just break free

without hesitation.

Interrupt your

thoughts; go

do something

to prevent yourself

from entering that

thought again so quickly.

*

Keep mementos

out of reach;

not permanently,

just until you’re safe

from the feeling you

want to escape.

*

At night,

lie still

and let exhaustion

do the work.

Sleep is the

closest thing

to peace of

mind.

*

Eventually,

you will forget

what you’re avoiding,

and when you forget,

it usually means the thoughts

associated with the avoided

emotion have been suppressed.

You no longer have to hide.

*

Flawed advice

can be better than

no advice.

Only sometimes.

Good advice

would be better.

Healthier.

*

This won’t make

you whole.

It will make you

functional.

For a little while,

anyway. It’ll come

again, the emotion

you avoided, and it’ll

be harder to push away.

*

But for now,

this has to be

enough.

*

This is

how you

keep yourself

from feeling;

you don’t erase

the emotion, you just

side-step it each time

it tries to touch you.

*

Eventually,

it’ll learn

how to reach

you.

*

Until then,

enjoy your

sanctuary.