I Can't
Breaking Past Demons (BPD) in Pieces
"I can't do this."
That's all I have to say. I can't. Do. This. And then I sigh.
What's going on with this feeling?
I'm upset. I'm defeated. I'm overworked and overwhelmed.
How can I find balance between acceptance and change this to an acknowledgement of my feelings?
What does it feel like when you say, "I can't do this?"
It feels like a mountain on top of me, suffocating, terrorizing me.
Will I ever climb out from underneath the mountain weighing down my chest? Jesus, that's so far to climb? It's so steep, can I make it?
Where do you feel it in your body? Where do I not feel it? Everywhere.
Can we just notice the thought without judging the thought? What? I notice my anxiety from the thoughts. I notice the terror from feeling like I'll fail. I notice the sheer fear of it all.
What would you say to a friend who feels like this? What could you say to encourage them?
Again, I pause. I try to remember how to breathe, because that's the only logical thing I can accomplish in this moment. What would I say? The hell if I know. I just want to break down and cry. I just want to stop and I randomly wonder what it would all be like without me. But I don't want anyone else to feel that low. I don't want anyone to be that unforgiving of themselves.
I'd say hold your head up. Even though the demons are staring you down. Even though there's a line of the enemy lingering in front of you as far as the eye can see...be John Wick, damnit! And win.
Take this fear, this pain, this indecisiveness and troubles and break them down into smaller pieces...a more manageable step...something tolerable.
What part of this feels the most overwhelming? What could be the first tiny step that you can take right now? How can I make this easier, more manageable?
I can't....that's my mind playing tricks on me....I can.
It might feel hard right now. But it doesn't last forever. And that doesn't mean that you can't do this. It might just have to be a challenge. You can learn how to approach this. You can overcome this.
I can?
How can I be kind to myself in this moment? How can I remember what it's like to look into the eyes of my child self, when I can't see past the tears?
It's okay to not be perfect. And it's okay to take things one step at time.
About the Creator
Alisha Wilkins ✒️🦋🖋️
I've been writing my whole life. Writing about realms to escape in, forbidden characters to fall in love with, and using writing as my muse and refuge. Recently, I've delved into the mind...mine and others. Happy Reading. Wishing you well.
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Comments (11)
So captivating~ I love your story especially this part, "Can we just notice the thought without judging the thought?" Thanks for sharing~
Congratulations on Top Story - Well Deserved!!!!
Life is definitely overwhelming many times. In those times we aren’t thinking that others feel the same. It’s good to share like you did and we know we are not alone. Congrats on the Top Story!! 🎊
Beautifully written, and lovely final line!
You captured the feeling of being overwhelmed and feeling like you can’t do something very well. I find this very uplifting and relatable. Congratulations on top story.
What does it feel like when you say, "I can't do this?" Difficult. There's always something nudging you, do it,do it, come on just do it. Congrats on Top Story.
You captured that overwhelming feeling so well, but I love how you circled back to hope and finding a way through. Really powerful! Congratulations on getting top story 🎉
This piece is incredibly powerful and relatable. Your honest portrayal of the struggle with overwhelming emotions and finding balance is moving. Thank you for sharing this heartfelt message
This is so wonderfully written and truly relatable!
When I told my mother I can't, she used to tell me Can't never did do anything. Great Story - Maryam is right you nailed it. Well Done.
The most beautiful something that I read on the 1st day of a fresh new start ❤👏 Thank you so much, for this... The last line; You nailed it 🤝