I Tell My Heart to Stop Now

I tell my heart to stop

Like it’s ever listened to me before

I tell it to dream another dream

I don’t want this one anymore

Although, in truth, it doesn’t want me

And if I’ve learned one thing only

I won’t chase one who could leave me

I would rather just be lonely

But my heart lifts like hope

At the shape and weight of his name

I gave my heart into his keeping

It wasn’t returned the same

I tell my heart to dream a new dream

Where someone loves me and will stay

Who won’t care that I’m not perfect

Who could still love me anyway

I tell my heart it’s hopeless

To long for what is dead and gone

But my stubborn heart remembers

When I long to forget and just move on

My hearts asks that I only listen

That I let it love and grieve

And give it enough space to feel

So the hurt can finally leave

I listen to the quiet

The reassuring beat of my own heart

No longer am I fighting

Instead, I fall apart

This heart of mine just holds me

Through each gasping, strangled breath

And reminds me with each steady beat

That there is more love left

It tells me to stay hopeful

As if I’ve ever truly listened

I fall asleep to its steady beat

While moonlight softly glistens

Morning dawns to its sure beating

I know this much is true

I can fall in love with me

Can I fall out of love with you?

Can I choose to honor what we shared

And leave it to the past?

Can I dare to hope for new love

That will know me, and will last?

Am I strong enough to try for me

As hard as I tried for you

I tell my heart to guide me

I’ll trust it knows just what to do

My heart lifts like hope

As I take that brave first step

Admitting there is more to life

That I have more love left.