It could be humiliating
If I let it
Creep back in
The shame of coming
So late to the game
Young souls can be excused
Their exuberance
Untried thoughts
And winding side-quests
Will not be
Held against them
Fresh bloom of youth
Covers a multitude
Of ignorant sins
In what world
Do I deserve a seat
At this table
I have no storehouse
No cache of literary material
To reference and critique
It is frustrating
That I need connection
In order to connect
With ancient tales
That invoke new worlds
Fresh ways of thinking
I do not fit
Another fucking costume
As always a
Spectacle or oddity
It is maddening
To be myself
When I wish to be
Literally anything else
In this moment
So then
If self is painful
Why not dissolve
Into nothing
Not death
But a setting aside of
Individual consciousness
Just for today
We are all
Words on a page
Used to shape
Language
Culture
Civilization
No one remembers a word
But they always remember
A good story
I choose to be
Part of it all
Without name or number
Beseeching the gods
For absolution
To disappear
Fit in
Say the right thing
Keep my mouth shut
If even good attention
Feels like a threat
Why do we think
As “I”
When I know
“I” does not exist
Take “I” out
Of the dictionary
Perhaps it might
Lend me some peace
Just for tonight
About the Creator
Aspen Marie
In love with life and all of its foibles.
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The Piggy Project
I’ve had so many names in this life I lose track of which ones were ever really mine and which ones I wore because someone needed me to. Some were handed to me before I had words to refuse them, before I knew what they meant, before I knew I could say no. Most weren’t meant to hurt. That doesn’t mean they didn’t leave marks. Marks that told me who I belong to, who I am by way of who claims me, recognizes me in the good and bad, who walks beside me.
By Fatal Serendipitya day ago in Confessions
Comments (3)
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Love the raw vibe here!! Sometimes losing the “I” just means making room for new stories to sneak in. Keep letting those words flow, you’re already nailing it.🥰
Most of us here are lost souls, so welcome to the club. Writing arises from the thoughts you are having, embrace it and run with the wind in your sails. Look up not down. and go forward. Bless.
I really hope you're not feeling this way. Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️