Inside Out

I swim alone

in a despairing ocean

salt water stinging my eyes

it's not tears, I swear..

It's just that

well, sometimes,

my heart cracks wide open

fault lines large enough

to swallow an entire city

my chest feels like

maybe there's a black hole inside

or a wormhole

sucking up every iota of meaning

teleporting it to nowhere

purposelessly consuming

until I am a negative number

sometimes I feel like floating on my back

while the sharks swim around

as I wonder how to make myself

more seal-shaped

induce a bit of salivating

because, I mean, really

if none of it matters

then why even watch, right?

close your eyes

and let the endless disintegration begin

the air around my skin

starts to feel more like a vacuum

ripping me apart

molecule by molecule

exploding from the inside out

but maybe

things might be better that way...

...inside out...