Intensity

I hate the world today.

It's not good for me, I know,

but I can't change.

Tried to share my feelings,

but you look at me like maybe

I've got spinach in my teeth,

like I'll fix you and be sweet.

*

Yesterday I cried.

You speak to me in shame,

but I can't hide.

I can understand how you'd be so obtuse,

I don't envy you,

Nothing ends but everything,

it's clear I'm not The One.

*

I'm not rich, I'm not clever,

I'm not wild, I'm not better,

Fuck—while you complain,

I wish I could feel ashamed!

Drink to my health—

you'll speak my dream,

pretending to know just what I mean,

telling me you know I wanted it that way.

*

You refuse me as I am

Insist that I must be a stronger man.

You cry—

I make you nervous—

say my emotions are too extreme,

how can I confide,

if I'm not allowed to feel a thing?

*

Now you think you got me figured out,

bells of half-formed delusions

in your head are violently clanging.

I watch you drool,

you play the fool,

and dare try to save me?!

*

I'm *that* bitch—I'm a tease

I'm a god,

get on your knees!

When you hurt when you suffer

I'll solve the problem—like your mother.

Yeah, I'm dumb—I'm alive,

watch me fly as I revive,

strong enough to write my own damn play!

*

I'm not rich, I'm not clever,

I'm not wild, I'm not better,

Fuck—while you complain,

I wish I could feel ashamed!

Drink to my health,

you'll speak my dream,

pretending to know just what I mean—

*

I never wanted it that way.