Middle-Aged Clarity

In middle age, don't burden yourself with too many "shoulds." The most exhausting thing about this stage of life isn't the responsibility of caring for aging parents and young children, but a life held hostage by countless "shoulds."

You feel you should be stable and respectable; you should compromise and endure; you should live up to others' expectations. These densely packed "shoulds" are like heavy burdens, suffocating you—exhausting your energy while making you forget what you truly want.

The best way to live in middle age is to learn to unburden yourself of these shackles and embrace only a life worth living.

1. Unburden yourself of others' expectations and accept your true self.

Middle-aged clarity means seeing clearly what others expect of your life, accepting your ordinariness, and allowing for regrets. You don't have to live up to everyone’s expectations. Don't blame yourself for not meeting "worldly" standards. A genuine life is more powerful than the perfection you think you "should" have.

2. Say goodbye to self-imposed "shoulds" and forgive your imperfections.

In middle age, we often use "shoulds" to judge ourselves: I should be a perfect parent; I should balance work and family; I should satisfy everyone. The reality is that energy is limited and abilities are finite; no one can be perfect in every aspect.

Because of these self-imposed rules, you bear all the pressure and become afraid to show weakness. You ignore your own needs, giving unconditionally, only to end up exhausted both physically and mentally. True clarity comes from letting go of the obsession with what you must do and accepting your own imperfections. Forgiving yourself isn't about shirking responsibility; it’s about facing life with a relaxed mindset, allowing you to calmly and effectively accomplish what truly matters.

3. Focus on what you believe is worthwhile; live authentically.

Middle age isn't a downhill slope, but a golden period for new choices. Instead of being pushed along by what "should" be done, ask yourself: Is this worth my time and energy? What do I truly want?

Worthwhile things, even if others don't understand them, are worth persisting in. Unworthwhile things, even if praised by the outside world, can be rejected. Dedicate your time to those you truly care about, focus your energy on what you love, and reserve your emotions for worthwhile beauty. No more forcing yourself to please others. In middle age, the highest form of living is not being defined by what you should do, but being driven by what is worth doing.

Thank you for reading!