Narcissus in Candlelight
Motherfucker in the Pool. My first ever Sonnet.
I take thy mantle, answer the call
To face the darkness swirling within;
Let ink stand witness—let the blackness fall
I call the pool; abyss—reveal thy skin
You cannot write "motherfucker" in verse
Can you?—can you? I fling thy name at glass
It splits like lightning—incantation’s curse
The artist's hand and perfect shadow's pass
See Narcissus bows; as the mirror owns praise
Naked and shamed for loving only him;
Dark shadows ever present, across my days
As light runs thin and edges the dim
I realise I'm not as special as I've sworn
The mirror keeps the better part—I'm torn.
*
Thanks for reading!
Author's Notes: So, since I joined Vocal, I have actively avoided trying to write a sonnet because I feared it. That's right, Paul Stewart feared a poetic form. Then they went and announced this challenge, The Sonnet of Shadows, and that forced my hand. So. You're welcome. It has also been put forward for the Masks We Wear challenge, too.
For me, this draws inspiration from three people who deserve shout-outs.
Mike Singleton 💜 Mikeydred, because he's king of traditional sonnets, and I won't hear any arguments against that, not even from him.
D.J. Reddall, because he's the king of ekphrastic sonnets, and I won't hear any arguments against that, not even from him.
Shaun Walters, because his latest Top Story, is just dynamite. The language choices and form are blistering. Check out Cicadas Scream.
Please give these guys a read if you haven't already - you'll never be bored by anything they produce.
Onto my poem. My first attempt at a sonnet. Carvaggio, Narcissus and a lot of internal battling.
So, yeah, a little bit of inspiration from them, Carvaggio, who has always been one of my favourite artists because of all the shadow and light. He uses chiaroscuro and tenebrism, techniques that involve extreme contrasts between light and dark to highlight areas of interest, create a sense of depth, and emphasize the drama and emotion of the scene. I felt that was a fun link back to the challenge prompt.
Also, Narcissus is such an intriguing fellow. Tragic and intriguing. This poem is definitely autobiographical (bet you already figured that out.)
About the Creator
Paul Stewart
Award-Winning Writer, Poet, Scottish-Italian, Subversive.
The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection out now!
Streams and Scratches in My Mind coming soon!
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A Letter to the Firestarter
Dear Firestarter, We can all see you, we've been watching you since you began. In case you didn't know we were here before you and we will be here after. We witnessed your rise, your setbacks, your guilt and your lies. We witnessed you start the fire.
By Donny Foley4 days ago in Poets
Comments (31)
Yay Paul!!! Congrats on placing runner-up in the sonnet of shadows challenge!!
Congrats, Paul! I love that a sonnet with MF made the cut!
Back to congratulate you on your runner up placement, Mr.! 🎉🎉For me, you're always nr1 :)
Returning to congratulate you on your runner-up placement in this challenge ❣ 🥳👏 More Sonnets to come from Paul? Well, I certainly hope so.
What a dynamic sonnet, Paul. Big congratulations for placing in the challenge with this admirable bit of poetic beauty. Well done.
Congratulations, Paul, getting close to the holy grail!!!
Wooohooooo congratulations on your win! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Congrats on the placement Paul!
this is rad-- don't know how I missed it. But I'm glad to see a name I recognized in the winners list-- congrats and great job :) The motherfucker in verse line and the rhyme that followed were gold.
Congratulations!
Well... I guess you can only avoid a sonnet for so long. Glad you gave it a good go though, Papa Paul!! 😁 Congrats on fourth place this week!!
Success my friend, congrats on all the comments.
Wooohooooo congratulations on your Leaderboard placement! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Congratulations!
I have always admired the works of Carvaggio, too. I think you have mastered the sonnet on your first attempt :) And I love the passionate emotions you have while taking a look at the reflection with the painter. Blown away, truly!
Fantastic sonnet, Paul. Now you've gotten it out of your system, so no more fear! I thoroughly enjoyed the personal inspiration references, and the cover image is superb.
What wonderful word choice, especially for the rhymes. Great job on this sonnet! Thank you for shouting out your inspiration. Always looking for new authors to read here. :)
First time I believe I have ever laughed out loud reading a sonnet in the classical form (mostly classical I guess, minus the MF bomb). Several wonderful lines, especially the mirror keeps the better part…. Interesting allusion to Narcissus given we are living an age that has mounted self-love and self-obsession atop a pedestal. But it is your awareness and horror of this reality that makes the poem special! Great first crack at the form and good luck on the challenge!
"I call the pool; abyss—reveal thy skin"... shivers! Elegant and sensuous with a darkness that calls out to us. Also, I love Caravaggio! My favourite work of his is Conversion on the Way to Damascus. Its composition is unlike anything else of his.
😃Great you could finally try the form. I honestly feel similar! It worked out very well, Paul! And how good is Caravaggio!? 🙂 🎨
Way to go and congratulations on this feat.
Congratulations on your first sonnet, I still do not have the guts to create one as yet. Excellent work!
Such a great sonnet, Paul! I also love Caravaggio and was so hooked on the Netflix show "Ripley" because he had his own plot line there. The ending involving "Narcissus" is striking.
Winner. Plain and simple. You win.👏
Shakespeare would be as proud as a motherf*&#er. You did a great job with the form, looking forward to more. And thanks for the shout-out!