Heavy, the veil of self-absorption
Darkens the space to suit the mood.
Born of bitterness and fed
Well by disappointment,
A shroud for the soul
That harbors pain.
Throw it off.
See the
Light.
***
A/N: Still working on this breakup. Thanks for reading!
About the Creator
Dana Crandell
Dad, Stepdad, Grandpa, Husband, lover of Nature and dogs.
Poet, Writer, Editor, Photographer, Artist
My poetry collection: Life, Love & Ludicrosity
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Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
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Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
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Look, Mummy, There’s an Aeroplane up in the Sky
“Throughout his life, Albert Einstein would retain the intuition and the awe of a child. He never lost his sense of wonder at the magic of nature's phenomena-magnetic fields, gravity, inertia, acceleration, light beams-which grown-ups find so commonplace. He retained the ability to hold two thoughts in his mind simultaneously, to be puzzled when they conflicted, and to marvel when he could smell an underlying unity. "People like you and me never grow old," he wrote a friend later in life. "We never cease to stand like curious children before the great mystery into which we were born.” ― Walter Isaacson
By Chantal Christie Weiss2 days ago in Poets
Comments (19)
'Born of bitterness and fed - Well by disappointment,' EXCELLENT lines!
Oooh YES! a shroud for the soul - perfect line 😄
Well done Dana, this is a very thoughtful and compelling poem; not at all constrained by the nonet form.
Hey Dana, Congrats on Runner Up for Most Discussed Story this week!! 🎉
Such a vivid process. Well done, sir!
“Born of bitterness and fed Well by disappointment" is an amazing line Dana! It really speaks to me on such a deep level I doubt I have the words for it
“Born of bitterness and fed Well by disappointment” really caught my attention! A really excellent nonet and challenge entry!
Wrenching
Awesome
That ending was extremely powerful! Loved your Nonet so much!
"the veil of self-absorption" - this gave me a lot to think about. This is so beautifully constructed, Dana! Amazing entry :)
I feel like you've got to treat this one less like a break up and more like an estrangement in progress!
Yes, see the light! Well done, Dana 👏
This felt so eye opening Dana! I literally could visualize the moment when they threw off the veil and finally saw the light!! Amazing work!!
I love how this can be read as inner dialogue or speaking to another person. Beautiful
I was unaware of the breakup. Reading this actually tugged at my soul.
Such a great nonet, ending in hope!
Those last lines. If that doesn't scream breakup, nothing does. As sad as it is, there's a sense of freedom. Well done, my friend.
Felt this so deeply, sir. Well written and emotive, a powerful and important entry. Just stunning work, Dana!