On The Outside

I stood alone,

On the outside, looking in.

Never good enough.

The odd peg outside an already completed circle.

Nothing but the constant reminders,

Of my fundamental flaws,

Life companions I never asked for.

Imagine my surprise,

When you turned from the circle.

And took my hand.

A beacon, a ray of light and hope,

A tiny opening in the circle,

Purpose-built, just for me.

In your acceptance, I flourished,

A phoenix from the ashes,

I rose to touch the sun,

Almost.

And the circle closed,

As fast as it opened,

Shut again,

Shattering me as the gate slammed

Sidelong glances,

whispers and lies,

Tales of my cardinal sins

Well known to all but me,

Smirking giggles anticipate my tears.

But they're not forthcoming,

I will not cry,

I am not sad,

I rejoice.

Not for my time with you,

But for the education

The truth.

Back on the outisde,

I look in again,

And the view isn't quite the same,

It's darker, dimmer now,

A sad, needy mess,

Crippled by insecurity,

Ever threatened by integrity and true inner strength,

And most of all,

By me.

The lonely outsider

Like the rarest of diamonds,

Shines brighter without you,

And you know it.