Slipping into Blue

Maybe you have missed me,

I know that I’ve missed you.

But I’ve been lost like driftwood,

and drifting...

I’ve been slipping into blue.

I’m sorry I’ve been hiding,

reciting and rewriting

(2020)

as if I simply could...

take all the pain and heartache

from the fucking news and somehow

make it good.

I never meant to leave you,

but I understand how maybe you

[[misunderstood]]

running blindly through the forest -

I’ve been trying all this time

*to harness*

the red of little red riding hood.

The fall came on too quickly.

I built my nest with all the sticks and heather that

I grew,

the big bad wolf came and changed the weather -

then he blew, and blew, and blew...

all my thoughts and dreams into the alley

of Unprecedented Avenue;

and I was drifting, like a feather -

**recreating all the blueprints that I drew**

Oh, the irony -

hear it in my words,

see it on the news -

I sure felt it as the fire in me

was slowly smothered by the blue...

of a new reality.

Maybe some have left me,

and I thank of all those who’ve stayed.

After months of sadness *I’ve awakened*

and I'm determined not to fade.

THANK YOU to all of you

(who my tiny world still follow);

for today I’m back with all the blue jays

and the swallows!

-Gina C. 🧚‍♀️✨

***

I wrote this poem at the very beginning of 2021, after having endured the now infamous 2020. I like to think a lot of people can relate to this poem, and while I am speaking to the worries and the woes that we all lived through (and continue to live through) during the pandemic, my "blue" was also largely brought on by a personal trauma. (You can take a peek at my short story, “Lucy in the Stars", if you want to dive deeper into that topic.) In this poem, I thanked people for continuing to follow me, even though I'd been gone for some time - having slipped into the "Blue". As my continuous theme throughout much of my work goes, I am always striving to be Red again. 💃🏽✨

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