Still Wondering...
Free Verse
I love the sound of your smile
when we’d talk on the phone
.
the stories
and small moments
you'd share
.
I love your mind
.
I love your specificities, your KitKats and dr.pepper, your purple & orange, your chosen nose
.
I love that you are your art
and you’ve made a kinder, wiser heart than any I’ve ever known
.
and that look in your eyes
I’m afraid it was fear
.
I felt it too
that shudder in the soul
when we’d meet
—how could this be?
.
I tell myself I am mad
to console my tender
terror
.
that you could love me in return
eludes me
.
the definition of Us
undermines my insecurities in ways
that decay into
so much time
between us
.
I wonder if you still love me
if you ever did
maybe I am a fool
but I believe you did
truly
once
.
and maybe
you still do
.
12/28/25
About the Creator
Justin Keeling
A systems thinker set to the task of disillusioning and reconciling a fragmented world through art, design, music, and story.
I sing for the dryads who spring through city sidewalks.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
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One Unchecked Box
"Republished" because it was the only way to add the embed for the newly recorded audio version of this story due to the Top Story badge. Plus it serves as a nice, informal announcement of the podcast's revival for another season (go subscribe!):
By Stephen A. Roddewig5 days ago in Fiction
Comments (7)
This is so touching! I could relate to that part when you write about how the definition of "us" undermines insecurities. Beautiful!
This is deep, such a beautiful story.
Absolutely loved this poem! Much deserving of top story!
The line about loving “the sound of your smile” stopped me, and then those tiny specifics — KitKats, Dr Pepper, purple and orange — made it feel so painfully real, like that’s exactly how we hold onto people when we’re afraid to lose them. The way fear shows up in both of you, especially in that moment of meeting, feels honest in a quiet, trembling way, like love brushing up against disbelief. That stretch of time between you feels heavy here, not just distance but all the things left unsaid — when you wrote this, were you holding onto hope, or just trying to make sense of the wondering itself?
Beautiful, Hopeful and Sad ❤️❤️❤️ I Love This and Congratulations for your Top Story🎊
I'm feeling the same feelings, love this poem. Great job!
Ooo, I like this a whole lot, Justin!! It stands out, IMO. I love the formatting and just the general free verse stream of consciousness. Very cool! ⚡️💙 Bill ⚡️