Submariner, am I
Immersed, suspended,
Lithe beneath the surface,
Embalmed in salt and secrecy.
Numbed, I stretch through muffled twilight,
Casting myself to the rippled bed,
Even as exhausted air rises to seek release.
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Comments (16)
'Embalmed in salt and secrecy.' WHAT a line!
Oh my, you took the breath out of me with this one. You described it in a way where I could both feel and imagine it.
Each line felt heavier and heavier, as though I (the reader) as being submerged/ sinking! Love this entry to the silence challenge Hannah!
Every line of this was great. You're so talented Hannah!
Gorgeous piece, Hannah! Refreshed by every word of this. Amazing entry!
Well this is beautiful and very easy to get lost in it all. Feels about swimming but more. Knowing how your mind works sometimes...not surprised it was inspired by an actual swim :) Well done. Incidentally...just yesterday I was thinking "a good idea would be for something watery, something underwater maybe" and then you kinda beat me to the punch lol. I think I had in my mind how my Great Nothingness had a kinda quiet and serene, watery feel. Anyway, really loved this. Another potential winner.
The last line was on point! Love this poem, Hannah! 💌
Swimming but also metaphorical. I can see this really clearly. I love rippled beds when you look at them through water.
That was extremely powerful! Loved it so much!
Jealous of your swim today! Sounds amazing. Your poem was just beautiful.
Absolutely jam-packed with vivid imagery ❤️
muffled twilight and exhausted air - wonderfully descriptive.
This is very vivid, Hannah, I can imagine the woman bopping on the waves.
What an atmosphere in just a few words! Great work, Hannah!
My emotions are ruffled. Seems such a peaceful setting, but I can't help but think of that private sub that got lost at the bottom of the ocean last year. Really well done.
I can almost feel it! Really well written, Hannah.