ten thousand little deaths
the desperate man
in the tangled skein tween dark night and bright day
thou once marched the chapel aisle in a cloud of white
me heart pounding, in terror and wonder great,
knees a tremble at the sacrament's inward light
...
thou wert so shy, thy felt every parishioner's gaze
and gripping mine hands in thine, thou whisper'd,
holdest me a while, God’s priest forc'd to wait
for I lov'd thee more than that which sacred liturgy requir'd
...
and when thou smil’d, I wish'd to die then and there
for surely, aye would ne’er againe feel it thus
nor wish to judge any given moment to compare
but rather savour such joy and never want for less
...
even though such wondrous times were slow to return;
still, they came, the potency of each a renewal o' faith and hope
the births of our beautiful childes ne'er to spurn
and still later our grandchildes to rekindle thy mother's love
...
but the act of living soil'd former passion
and promise, like a millstone grinding grain
love rankled by words cutting like weapons
with fierce wroth, when harmony we fail'd to maintain
...
all the little jibes and churlish pugnacity
all the rolling of our eyes and heavy sighs
ten thousand little deaths a mutual calamity
loving feeling rubbed bare by unrepent'd lies
...
and yet, together we grew older still and ne’er retired
when in thine smile and the gleam in thy brown eyes
and unforced joy in thy laughter and unsullied humor,
or tender clasp of thy naked arms and sweet music of thy whisper'd sighs
...
still aye saw me youthful bride in the wine red of thy blush
and tast’d thee in the press of thine lips to mine
desireth still to hold thee tight in the night's hush
me hands with pleasure buried in thy thick and tangl'd mane
...
but even in the merry years ever aye fear'd losing thee
as we lay together in the midnight hour, my ears prick’d
for thy ragg'd breath for fear it would steal all hope from me
and with bitter tears wept aye when illness cruelly assay'd
...
remember'd aye of thee in my orisons when thou grew weaker still
God silently listening to my plaint but ne’er deign'd to fill
and aye with mortal sorrow begg’d o’ He to grant me
the strength o’ an hour to cling forever more to thee
...
from our first honey’d kiss to our last
me trembling lips pressed to thine cold and still
who am aye in this tangled skein o’ life
save a poor soul who lov’d and buried his wife?
….
Betwixt the wooing and the last breath passing thine lips
cleav’d aye to thee sometimes in embrace and others at war,
together one flesh to which the good book unfold
So how might I now still live when ha’ o’ me has fled?
About the Creator
John Cox
Twisted writer of mind bending tales. I never met a myth I didn't love or a subject that I couldn't twist out of joint. I have a little something for almost everyone here. Cept AI. Ain't got none of that.
Comments (26)
Truly the vocal master…I bow to your arcane mastery sir
Many congrats, John! Once again, you take us on a journey through time. I couldn't write a poem like this even if given a manual, lol. But I do learn little bits by engaging with these types of offerings from you.
Wooohooooo congratulations on your Leaderboard placement! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Leader board champ. Nice Congratulations
Simply beautiful and heartbreaking. Absolutely worthy of Top Story. Well done!
The first stanza pulls us into a feeling. Fear of the light. Fear of something sacred. The sacred liturgy could not live up to love one has for another. This thing you speak of. Became higher. Too high to ever want for less. Grandchildes to rekindle thy mother's love. Oh how beautiful this image was. The act of living really ruins things sometimes. So that harmony could not always be maintained. And yet. This is the thing that makes life worth living. And yet. But most don't even get to this part. Instead it's, let's see which of us could leave first. Oh my you got quite vulnerable in this one. Midnight hour ~ my ears pricked ~ for thy ragg'd breath' Oh no. This is breaking my heart. 😢 I scrolled down to the comments and found my breath again. This was fiction. Oh the relief I felt was so great. I was going to descend into depression. Because this was so well done that it caused me to feel the greatest burden. That's what a masterpiece does. Outstanding work John. If I were to pick between, spun on fortunes wheel and this. I could not. 👏🏾👌🏾🤗❤️
You can so feel the love here. Beautiful.
Deeply saddening John
Oh my word - this is an absolute masterwork, John! I'm just getting back on this site after months, and it's so good to be back. This piece really blew me away - the archaic style and profound reflections on a lifelong love go hand and hand beautifully - such a well-deserved Top Story!
Well-wrought! I always love your willingness to revisit and blend styles and eras!
congrats! on top stories
Congrats on your top story! 🎉🎉🎉🎉
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Love your poem, it's really great because it explores the depths of human understanding.
Gorgeously done, John. Congratulations on a well deserved top story.
Congrats John on another fantastic top story...
Congratulations John Glad to see this on TS
Ach, sir. I feel like a proper plonker of a chancer poet next to stuff like this by your good self! Congrats on a thoroughly well deserved Top Story. This was everything. Everything that a love should be. Beautiful and amazing until its beautiful and sad.
Masterful. You always humble me, John.
A deep lament in the highest tradition. Ah me.
Half of you is gone...half remains...that half has to go on, strong in the memory of the other half. Very challenging to read. but worth it.
This was so deep, touching, emotional, and beautiful. Loved it so much!
A life shared a love forever. Man, this speaks of a deep love that people pray to experience at least once in their life.
Sad words, but well expressed
Oh my! Tears in my eyes. This is a beautiful tribute to an undoubtedly wonderful woman. I'm so sorry for your loss. May your personal Higher Power give you strength. 🩵💚💛❤️